Love will find a way to bloom.

Hello lovely people. It's been a while. I haven't been in the best of moods for the past month or so. So busy trying to get results that just won't happen, trying to finish up the hardest semester I've ever had; trying to make time for my family and friends this holiday season; trying to not let little things get me down.

We can't all be happy all the time. That is as good of a lesson as any, I think. It's opposite of one of my most influential lessons I've learned throughout my high school and college years: only you can make yourself happy. Other people can help continue your happiness, but overall, you are in charge of your own happiness.

But even the happiest of people gets down sometimes. It's natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Sometimes when I get stressed, I tend to shove every piece of food towards my face. That's been my crutch for a while, but it's not the healthiest thing to do. Pizza diets, while delicious, are not great for you.

So, since it is the time of a new year starting, people are going to start making New Year resolutions. I'm not big into that, because I rarely keep them. However, I want a new way to deal with my sadness/stress/frustration.

I've tried yoga before, and it worked somewhat while I continuously practiced it. But then, life got in the way (Correction: science got in the way, like it always does), and I stopped. I found some classes at the recerational center on campus that I'm planning to do. It's not good when just being in the city you live in makes you stressed.

Below is one of my favorite bands, and I used a lot of their songs for yoga music and relaxation.

Mae - A Quiet (E)vening/Bloom

It could be about someone you love. It could be about your faith. Something that you're going through. But by still hoping, still dreaming, the finish line you want to reach is close. Stress is a part of life, but it does pass.

(I need to take my own advice more often than not. lol)

What do you do to relive yourself of stress? Massage, for stress you inflict on your body? Meditation, to soothe the mind? A warm bath? Listening to soft, comforting music?

Just remember to destress every once in a while. Maybe I will too, one of these days. Until then, it's time to break out the yoga mat. And Mae. And occasionally order some pizza and drink some wine. And eat chocolate. And my favorite thing: remember to breathe.

Until next time, loves. Have a wonderful new years, spending time with those that you love and cherish. I know I'm excited to spend it with some of the best people I know. Obviously can't have everyone I want around, but that's just life.

Remember to breathe. :) Try to stay positive. Things always turn out the way they are supposed to, and it's usually for the better.

"You're always so optimistic."

Happy Finals time everyone! Everyone will be fine, we've gone through these a bajillion times, so I'm just sending you positive thoughts your way... Good luck to all!

Also thinking of a special friend of mine, who I know is going to rock out tomorrow on her big test. :)

I was getting brunch with another friend yesterday, and we were just talking about things that were going on. She commented, "You're always so optimistic." Kind of a "duh" moment, but it's always nice to hear it nonetheless.

I say it's a "duh" moment because I know I'm optimistic, sometimes even overly optimistic. That's just how I've been for probably 6+ years now. It was a decision of mine to try not to dwell on things that happen, whether they're good or bad. You just have to be ready for the next thing that comes your way.

I'm not saying to not enjoy what you have. But realistically, whatever you think you have could be taken from you in a single second. What to take away from it: be grateful for all the good you have. However, when something bad comes along, try not to put so much energy into that. Don't get drawn in by pessimistic thinking. It's too easy to have every part of your life be negative, and it's a lot harder to try to get back to optimism.

As a chemist (or general scientist), one thing you learn quickly is that though reactions, etc. are supposed to work in a specific theoretical way, real world application is not always the same, and most of the time, things don't work the way you want them to. So, do I know how easy it is to be pessimistic in a world that rarely works the way it should? You bet I do. However, in my field, every positive result brings such joy and optimism, you want to search for those positive results.

So: in my case, definitely, why not just be optimistic as much as possible? It's so much more rewarding than to be pessimistic, and have things go wrong time and time again. Things are going to go wrong, it's important in how you deal with these hard times. When the good times come around, they're much more enjoyable if you can be generally optimistic.

So: if you are wanting to be optimistic, but don't know where to start... here are a few tips that work for me.

1) Enjoy what you're doing, whatever it is. I hate doing chores, like cleaning. However, the end result makes me feel good, because things look so much better and I feel more peaceful having a clean bathroom, clean dishes, a organized desk. Less disorder for me makes me happy. Same thing goes for something you're having fun with, whether it's getting together with friends, working out or fixing your favorite meal. Enjoy what you're doing, and the company you have. When things get tough, you can remember those times, and look forward to having that feeling again.

2) Take breaks when working. Too many times, we want to just work on something straight through to get it done. What I've found is that if I don't take a 15 min break here and there, I end up procrastinating a lot more than I would have with some time off.

3) Listen to music that makes you happy. Regardless if it's classical, hip-hop, dubstep or bluegrass, music can effect your emotions very easily. Listen to things that make you happy, or excited, or motivated. Whatever you want to feel, play music to make yourself feel that way. If you have to force yourself to listen to it, soon you'll want to listen to it, and you'll be glad you did.

4) If you're not happy, pretend you are. I know that sounds a little silly. Why are you pretending to be happy and optimistic if you're not? By pretending to be happy, a lot of times (for me, at least) I then become happy. It's a gradual change, but it's a genuine change. You start to actually feel happy and you don't have to  pretend anymore. It's funny, but it's true.

I'm not saying I don't get negative. We all get stressed, and it's all too easy to get into a negative mindset. But sometimes, we just need to regroup, and get past what's making us negative. Take a "me" day, figure out what's really bothering, and then make a plan on how to fix it. Some problems are easy to fix, some take a lot longer... but take sometime to yourself. I know I forget that I need to work on myself sometimes, and not just work on other things.

So, in an optimistic ending, go enjoy the winter season everyone! (Although it certainly doesn't feel like winter! 53 degrees today) It's the most wonderful time of the year, after all. :)

Be thankful for those around you.

November is one of my favorite months, solely because of that awesome holiday called THANKSGIVING. If you know me at all, i LOVE thanksgiving more than most things in the world. seriously. 

But that's for another blog post.

Only reason I bring up my favorite holiday comes from an idea I've seen some people do: for the whole month of November, say what you are thankful for. I think this is a great idea (though we should be thankful everyday, but again, that's for some rant that I don't have time/energy for right now). I think we all forget what we are thankful for, so instead of reflecting for one day, do it daily. Maybe even continue it on past the month of November.

Some things I'm thankful for (off the top of my head, in no particular order):

• My friends. I seriously have the best friends, and I will TOTALLY brag on them all day, e'ry day.
• My family. They have always been so supportive of me in my endeavors, and we always have a ton of fun at dinners, vacations, etc. Sometimes we argue, but that's family for you.
• Totino's, in general. Those party pizzas and pizza rolls are AMAZING and brighten my day every time I eat them.
• COFFEE. I'm not sure I'd be able to get through grad school without it. (Who would have thought?)
• My cats at home. I'm a crazy cat lady (this shouldn't surprise you), and they make me soooo happy everytime I get to see them. And then I take plenty of pictures of them. I'm not too crazy, I promise.
• The gifts given to me. No, I'm not talking about ACTUAL gifts... though I like getting gifts (hint, hint). You know what I mean. I've only gone so far because of what I've received.

I know there are plenty more things that I'm thankful for, but do you really want to read about that? Probably not. And the two most important ones are at the top, and everything else is a little silly (but completely necessary to my well beling).

But regardless if you're surrounded by the people you love, random people you don't know, or acquaintances, be thankful for who is around you. And be thankful for the new people you've met recently. I know a year and a half isn't exactly a "recent time period", but I am so thankful to have met some awesome people, from school and outside of it. I'm going to be in Cincinnati for (hopefully) another 3.5 years, so I have a feeling that the people I've met "recently" are going to have a pretty big impact on my life until I leave here.

Be thankful, and show how thankful you are. You may think you don't have as much to be thankful for, but it's not really if you have more or less to be thankful about, it's about having things to be thankful for.

Have a great month, and don't worry, you'll be hearing from me about Thanksgiving soon enough. (Again.)

What I would rather be doing besides chemistry...

Obviously, this post makes you believe that I am stuck in lab, doing some lab work or working on chemistry-related topics. At the moment, I'm obviously not, but I'll be there soon enough. (Waiting to eat lunch first, you obviously see where my priorities are. Hahaha)

However, I know a lot of times I get jealous/envious of people and their wonderful lives. All the fun things that people get to do (Keeneland meets, football games, basketball games, concerts, Harvest Homecoming, etc. The list goes on and on) while I feel like I'm stuck at school doing work, or stuck at home doing work. I feel angry at chemistry, as to why I have to stay and do things that are MUCH less fun then the things I noted before. For example: I'd rather be sitting on my porch, with a cup of coffee, reading a book for enjoyment. I can't remember the last time I did that.

But then I continue to realize that:

1) This is my job. I am getting paid (my school paid for + a stipend), and so it won't always be enjoyable. I can't remember a job that I always enjoyed going to day in and day out. So it's okay that I'm not always super stoked to go in (especially on the weekends. yuck)

2) This is a big dream of mine. I want to accomplish this. I want to get my Ph.D. I want to get something that only a small percentage of people have in the world. I want to be part of an elite group of smart people (though I don't think I'll ever be as smart as some of the people out there). Making dreams come true doesn't come easy, and it requires time, hard work and lots of sacrifice. I'm only 24, and I have a lot more of my life to live after this. So working on acquiring my Ph.D. until I'm 28 is a big sacrifice, but a sacrifice I'm willing to go through with.

3) I don't know what I would do with my life if I wasn't doing something science-based. I always say that I'd become an event planner if Chemistry didn't work out. But let's be honest, all I have are good organizational skills and good planning skills. PRETTY SURE that's not all you need to go into event planning for an actual career. I've been science-based pretty much my entire life. I remember going to science shows when I was younger, going to the Louisville Science Center on the weekends and watching IMAX movies about the Amazon or space (obviously always narrated by Morgan Freeman or Harrison Ford), playing science and math-based video games on the computer (number munchers, the Amazon Trail, Geometry Blaster... and that's where my weirdness comes from, y'all), etc. etc. etc. I grew up with science, so it only makes sense for me to continue with science, regardless of how "depressed" it makes me.

Let's be honest: science is HARD. But, if I (and other people who "like" science) am not doing it, who would be? Who would come up with all these new findings about space, about drug-delivery systems using small organic compounds that are less harmful than radiation treatment, about new species of plants/animals, about how the earth was composed billions of years ago vs. now... We need people to do science, and I just happen to be one of them. But it's not easy, and we scientists get frustrated. I know I surely do, and being around/talking to a lot of other people in the sciences, it's very frustrating, and we'll all probably becoming functioning alcoholics who also happen to be addicted to coffee. But if that's how we get through it, that's how we get through it.

I can't speak for any other type of work/study besides my own, but I can imagine that each brings frustrations with them. But we just have to remember that there IS more to life than just our studies, our work... it's what the rest of the world has to offer. And while we may not be able to partake in some of the finer things in life right now, we'll get our chance soon enough. We just have to push through the difficult times now, and always look for that light at the end of the tunnel.

So, today, if you have to do some less-than-enjoyable things (for example, go into lab for a few hours), make the most of it. Play your favorite music while doing it. Multitask, and do something you like to do as well. Get your favorite coffee/hot beverage before/after your work, and just enjoy the day for what it is.

All you scientists out there (and all you non-scientists too), just take it a day at a time, but remember, that there are good things ahead, even if they're not in your direct line of sight. They'll find you, but be ready for them.

As for me, it's almost lunch time (YESSSSSSSSSSSSS) and then time for me to head in to start some reactions. Until next time (which for me may be a while... I'm not good at this "regular blogging stuff" lol)

Always thinking, always moving.

What a crazy busy September! It turned to October and fall on me! From the UofL UK game, Annie's coming back to KY party, Sugar Ray concert, a high school friend's wedding, Oktoberfest Zinzinnati with friends coming to visit, and a trip to Columbus, hasn't been much time to do much else (besides some needed chemistry work, of course).

The main thing that has kept me busy since school started again is just my program in general. Classes + teaching + research = a full 10-12 hour day most days. Then it's time to come home, go to sleep, and do it all again the next day. While I know I complain about it (a lot... it's true. Some of you have probably heard more than your fair share of my whining), I think about what else I could be doing with my life instead.

I could be at my old job, working 8 hour days, just getting through the day, and repeating 5 days a week. Not loving what I'm doing, but tolerating it enough until something better comes my way. I could have been working for Brown-Forman, had that worked out, and probably be pretty happy. I could have gone to UofL to get my Masters' degree, and then be in the workforce in another year.

And then I take a look at where I am today. I worked my butt off to switch from the Masters' program to the Ph.D. program. I'm in a research group that I feel comfortable in and enjoy the research (most of the time). I'm teaching organic chemistry recitations and labs, and helping new students learn how awesome it is. (Believe me, it's freaking awesome) While it's VERY FAR down the road, I see a potential future that I couldn't see when I started the program.

So many times, it's easy to complain about how tough life is. I do it ALL THE TIME. I know I try not to, and it's hard to break that habit. But sometimes, it's nice to take a day, not do anything but watch your favorite TV shows, talk to some friends you haven't had the chance to catch up with in a long time, drink some freshly brewed coffee on a cool, fall day... and just take life in. Just let it happen to you... it doesn't have to be productive, it just has to... be, I guess.

Fall is one of my favorite seasons, and I think it's a very good thinking season as well. Go porchsit with a hot cup of cocoa; sit by the fire, roasting marshmallows and watching the fire burn; watching the leaves change colors day by day; getting ready for the best holiday, Thanksgiving, and what all we have to be thankful for in our lives. For me, it's the introspective season.

It's nice to just think about things... so if you need to, take a day and relax, and just think. Think about the present: how you got there and where you want to go. But also make sure you chill in the present for a bit, since it's so easy to look towards tomorrow. Revel in what is going on around you... this day is unique in its own way.

In a world where it's easy to forget about the good and focus on the bad, try to flip the script from time to time. You'll be amazed to see what you'll find.

Doesn't matter where, it's always a good time.

Please excuse the Owl City + Carly Rae Jespen song title. Sorry I'm not sorry. It's a catchy song.

I've been a bit MIA since the last time I had something to write about... mostly because I've been extremely stressed from school. Not saying that I'm stress-free now, I'm just dealing with it a lot better than I have been. Very little time to get research done + having to teach full time + boss needing results = later nights staying at lab + little time for much else besides sleep. But if it wasn't hard, everyone would be getting their Ph.D. in chemistry.

It's definitely hard to stay positive in a world of negative results (and sometimes negative people), but you just have to take one day at a time. You do the work, you feel okay when you get to play. Seeing some of my favorite people from college Labor Day weekend + seeing Louisville beat the snot out of Kentucky; seeing Sugar Ray with college friends + current roomies and then Chemistry Department party... doesn't get much better than that. :)

But that's what makes life worth it, isn't it? The hard work and rough times are worth it whenever you can balance it out with some fun times that make memories and friendships (either by renewing old friendships or making new ones). And it doesn't really matter where it happens: the lab, school, home, a bar, a friend's house, a sports game... as long as it's with people that you enjoy to spend time with, it'll always be a good time.

I know this is brief, but chemistry takes priority (per usual). Just keep your head up. Do the best you can, and the rest will fall into place. Don't worry about things you can't control (easier said than done), and remember to take time to relax/have fun. It makes hard work and fun times more rewarding.

Keep dreaming big, and thinking positive. Make goals, and go out and get them. Try new things. Dance around your room to your favorite song. Take a walk in the beautiful fall weather. Porch sit when it's raining. Life is a beautiful thing, let's remember to enjoy it.

I'M IN!!!!

Last week, I wrote of something that might come to fruition. This week, I found out that it has happened!

You are looking at Jennifer Vernia, PhD student!!! :)

It's been a fun journey so far, and I can't wait to see what else lies in store for me.

I'm so thankful for all the support from my family, friends, teachers, classmates... the support has been overwhelming. I can't thank you all enough.

Get ready, because once I graduate (in 4-5 years lol), it's time to bust out the inflatable slide and kegs again!

School year, let's get it.

Work Hard, Play Harder.

That is the motto that Centre College students tend to adopt. Usually you see: Work Hard, Play Hard. But you might as well reap the benefits of your hard work, right? And you enjoy doing something "fun"... so do it big.

I'll talk more about this once it's official, and not still a bit up in the air. However, something that I have had as a dream since junior year of college and what I've been working towards since my first day at UC looks like it's coming to fruition. It's always nice to see hard work pay off.

Like I said, I'll update later when the event is official. But just remember: you only get what you give. Give it your all, and at the end of the day, you'll end up exactly where you should be. Sometimes it's where you WANT to be as well, but somehow things always work out to be where you NEED to be.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant

A few weeks before graduation began this year, someone had stolen the Centre seal. Now, it was a huge deal, because as most people know, even stepping on the seal has said that you won't graduate from Centre College. A nice myth, but I know I never stepped on it, just in case. Or if you kissed over the seal, you'd marry that person. Never did that, either. With the seal missing, many people joked that you wouldn't graduate because it was no longer there. All in all, a crazy (and personally immature) prank. Pretty sure most people know who did it, and if not, they will soon.

A recent Centre College alum posted a picture of said person who stole the seal, and the caption from the stealer: "to all those who felt as if centre took something from u... got you beeotch!!!!" The alumnus then talked about how she didn't feel like Centre took anything from her (minus tuition), and how it was a very rewarding 4 years of her life. Other alumni left comments agreeing or disagreeing. So, instead of making it facebook wide, I decided to blog about my time at Centre, and what I achieved from attending from 2006-2010.

Now: this is only my personal opinion about the time I spent at Centre. Each person is obviously entitled to their opinion, and may not have felt the same way about Centre that I do. That's great, each person gets something different out of school and their surroundings. I want you, readers, to remember to be open to other people's opinions, because that's what makes the world a great place.

The first time I ever visited Centre, I felt at home. I loved campus, the energy; I could see myself going there. It was going to be a financial struggle to get me there, but with the help of my loving parents, the generosity of the College (and the alumni giving money), and some student loans, my want to go to Centre became a reality. I was going to start off getting my chemistry degree and playing basketball for Centre. Coming out of high school, basketball was what my main focus was. In school, chemistry was my favorite subject. So it only made sense to continue in both of those things once college started.

I remember meeting Dr. Jeff Fieberg during my campus visit, and that's what really sold me on studying chemistry. The next four years at Centre studying chemistry were by no means easy, but I loved every second of it. I know I didn't give my education my all, and to that day it still haunts me. However, I feel like my time at Centre helped shape me into the person I am today. Sure, I still have a lot of growing left to do, but I'm looking forward to it.

As a freshman, I perhaps tried to overachieve with the classes I chose to take, while trying to have a social life I never had the opportunity to obtain in high school. I could suddenly do whatever I wanted to. No one was breathing down my neck, no one was forcing me to do something. It was all up to me. I ended up getting mono from not taking care of myself, which lead to me quitting basketball right after conditioning. My grades by the end of the year were the worst I had ever seen. But I had made great friends that I wouldn't give up for the world.

Sophomore year came around, and I was determined to raise my grades. However, my class schedule wasn't helping that much either. Organic chemistry, Physics, Calculus... not a great GPA booster schedule. I did alright, but more importantly made new friendships and got to form relationships with certain professors I still keep in contact with today. I found a love for organic chemistry, and have continued to let that love grow for the subject.

Junior year was another tough year, but I was getting the hang of classes, and started to think about my future after Centre. I had some of the best friends I could ever ask for, and had a ton of fun. Classes were still hard, but not unbearable.

Senior year, obviously the best year. I got the best grades of my whole career (which still weren't the best, but that's okay), had a ton of fun with my real friends, and researched with a biochemistry professor. The main event that transformed me to be "ready for the real world" was going to New Zealand for Centre Term. There's nothing more beautiful than being at the top of a volcano looking out and seeing ocean. I definitely found myself there, and used that for motivation to finish out strong. 

I had applied to grad schools for the following fall semester, but didn't get in anywhere. My grades were DEFINTIELY not up to par to get into a PhD program, but that's my own fault. I put my social life before my "education", and it showed. However, after a year of working, I reapplied to a master's program, and am currently studying at the University of Cincinnati. I'm on the cusp of switching over to the PhD program, and worked really hard, and got the grades I should have gotten in undergrad.

It makes me think really hard about what an education is really about. Is it all about what we are supposed to learn in a field of study? Or is gaining an education more than that? Is it about making connections with other people, in and out of your field? Is it about finding out what really interests you? Is it about making friendships that last a lifetime? Is it about getting the best grades you can to continue your studies post-grad?

Or is it really a combination of all of these? Is the real meaning of education to discover our own ignorance, all facets of it? Social, intellectual, physical, emotional, mental... all our boundaries stretched to the limit with what we can learn.

We know that schools are looking for talent, intelligence, ambition, etc. They're not prone to let in potential students that haven't shown promise in their previous studies. However, a lot of students at Centre have complained that their grades have kept them out of specific programs/internships they have applied for. They say that at a state school, it'd be easier to get better grades for transcripts. I've seen some of the state school programs, and their classes were harder than the ones I took in undergrad. So is that really an excuse? Or is the real reason we didn't get into what we want was that we were too busy with other things? Having fun with friends, sleeping, social clubs. 

There's still hope for those people that still want to get into programs after undergrad: exhibit A, me. It may not happen the year after you get out of undergrad, but you made sacrifices in school that allowed you to have fun but did not allow for the "learning" part as well. But we all make choices every day, it just depends on when we make those choices that need to be made.

So: if you regret your time in undergrad, that's on you. If you regret not making the grades you wanted to make, think back: did you do everything in your power to study and prepare for the class? If so, then you did the best you can, and you should be proud. However, you might need to reevaluate some future decisions. But I know for a fact that I didn't focus on my grades as much as I should have. Yet, I don't regret ANYTHING from my time in undergrad.

While the school aspect of education is very important, I tend to think building relationships, networking, friendships, can be just as useful. And for that, I thank you Centre. You helped me make the best friends I've ever known, and I can't wait to continue to grow in our friendships.

I have a lot to thank Centre for: preparing me for graduate school, helping me to discover who I truly am and what my goals in life are, and for giving me a ton of memories from the 4 years I attended there. I will continue to give money to the school as an alumnus, so that other high school graduates have the opportunity to study there. 

Life is what you make of it, and I'm glad that Centre helped to build that part of my life.

"Education is all a matter of building bridges." - Ralph Ellison

Let's continue to build bridges, regardless of where you are from, what school you went to, what you "got your education in". That's what life is about.

"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind."

So when I started this blog, I never said I was good at keeping up with it. Haha. But I'm here, I promise. Real life tends to get in the way sometimes, which I think is overall a good thing. As much as I love reading blogs, articles, etc. on the internet, there's nothing better than going and living life OUTSIDE. Except when it's 102 degrees outside. Then I like living life in A/C. :)

Anyway: so much to update!

Wedding season just kicked off for me last weekend. There's always so much anticipation for the first wedding of the year. I just attended my first one, and what better way to start it off with a wedding of a friend I've known since I was 6 years old! That's right, I'm talking about Erin.

The happy couple :)

Erin and I went to Holy Family together, and then also Providence. Even though we didn't see each other as much as we had hoped, we still kept in touch. Jeremy, her husband, is such a good match for her. The wedding was gorgeous, and the reception was too much fun! I hope they're having a wonderful time on their honeymoon!!! :)

So getting number 1 done, I have 7 more weddings from here until December (4 in August!!!!) I have another wedding this weekend, a family friend. So that will be another fun time!

I love weddings, they just don't love my bank account :) But just the ideals of marriage make me smile every time I see a couple recite their vows, and look happier than anyone else in the world.

Also: there's news (but not news) about my PhD status. I got my grades I needed, and passed the 1st year talk. However, due to budgeting reasons, I won't find out whether or not I was accepted into the PhD program until mid July... so keep your fingers crossed for me. I can't say I won't be disappointed if I'm not accepted, but there's a reason for everything, and I did what I could, so I'm happy either way.

So: normally my blog posts always contain something positive. Like a positive message to follow, or something along that nature. The title quote says it all (especially with my love for cats) Without further ado, here it is:

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is something to be said about a person who is patient. You know the saying: Love is PATIENT, love is kind. Patience is a virtue. But it's easy enough to become impatient; to want everything right this second. To try to make things hurry along so you can get to the good part. But that's not how life is supposed to be, right?

To be patient is tough; I know because I am a bit impatient myself. As a society, we are so accustomed to receiving things at a click of a button, at the drop of a hat. We forget that some of the best things come to us when we are patient. The anticipation of waiting for something makes it that much more worthwhile and important. How many times have you purchased something right away, and then just ignore it a week after you got it? Because the newness of it has worn off. Or how many times have you pursued a friendship/relationship, and then get too hasty, and watch it fizzle out?

Patience isn't talked about because it's an easy thing to be. Patience is talked about because it's hard, it's tough, but it's so rewarding. I myself am trying to learn patience. I'm being as patient as I can with the program's decision on the PhD status. I'm being patient learning who people are and how to interact with them. I'm learning to be patient with people who are stressed and don't want to hear your advice. I'm learning to be patient with myself, to learn who i still want to become. I know I'm not perfect, but maybe, with patience, I can make myself be who I want to be.

So be patient today, and be patient tomorrow. And the next day. Take it a step at a time, a minute at a time, a second at a time, a day at a time. See if patience gives you some type of satisfaction. If cats can do it, I think we as humans can too.

Stay cool this summer, readers. I think it's going to be a brutal one. But enjoy the summer, and make sure you take time off to enjoy life and all the wonderful things that come with it.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Just something quickly before I get back to chemistry for the night... I know I've been neglecting this bad boy, but it's been the laziest yet busiest quarter yet.

I want to congratulate all the college graduates from the Class of 2012. You made it. Cherish the friends you made, the memories, the professors, the good times and bad... cherish it all. It was definitely a once in a lifetime, but it will be a part of you forever. It's hard to believe that my own college graduation was 2 years ago. How time flies.

It's also hard to believe that my first year of graduate school will be over in a matter of 5-6 days. It just seems like yesterday I moved up to Cincinnati. But I've enjoyed every struggle and smile, the friends I have made here, and the connections I've formed. I'm definitely looking forward to the new challenges, whether they come tomorrow or down the road a bit.

Whatever it is that is next for you, don't worry too much. Just keep calm and carry on. And we'll all float on anyway. It may seem tough, it may question your values and beliefs... but there is a reason for everything. So just keep calm, carry on, and do your best. That's all you can ask for, and at the end of the day, you'll be satisfied with the results.

“A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”

It has definitely been a while since I've taken the time to blog about something/someone/somewhere. Always seems like there is never enough time to get what you want to do done. But luckily, I'm back! (And procrastinating on two presentations that are on Monday and Tuesday... yikes.)

As per my past blog posts, I always try to write about something positive. The past few months have been stressful for me (as well as a lot of people I know), so it's been hard to find something positive to write about. I meant to talk about the Louisville Cardinals' wonderful March (Big East Champs, Final Four), but c'est la vie. Very proud of that team though. However, I received excellent news from a friend today. She is about to start residency rotations, and was looking at hospitals all over. Living in Pikeville, KY, I don't get to see her very often, but when I do it's definitely worth it. I received a text from her this morning saying that one of her rotations was going to be in Cincinnati, at Good Samaritan Hospital. Of course I'm SO excited for her and her residency audition. Add that to the location of the hospital (right down the road from campus), and it makes it even better.

Thinking of one friend got me thinking about other friends, and then just about friendship in general. I cannot be thankful enough for the friends I have. Whether it's new friends I've made in the graduate program, my college friends, my high school friends, my grade school friends... we've all been through so much together, and it's made everyday so fantastic. Yes, we've had our share of bad days (who hasn't?), but it was much more fun to bitch and complain about it, and then later look back and think how it really wasn't that bad.

You go through life, and you meet people that will come and go without warning. But the ones you keep close to you, those will get through anything life throws at you. Don't be grateful for those special to you. Tell them you love them, you are thinking about them, you miss them. Send them a text, an email, a card, a cookie bouquet (okay, you don't have to, but it's nice if you do). Buy them a drink without expecting one in return. Leave them a note on their car, in their cubicle. Make sure you always tell people that you do care about them. You never know when it could brighten their day.

It's easy to look at what's hard in life, but the nice boost of happiness you feel when you're with people you call friends makes everything that much easier. I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am today without the support of my friends (and family). I owe these people so much, and I don't mind having to "repay" for ... forever, really. It'll be fun doing it.

"A Hug is worth a thousand words; A Friend is worth more."

You Are Loveable... God Doesn't Make Junk.

My thoughts and prayers, first and foremost, go out to those who have been hit by the tornadoes yesterday. From Alabama, up through Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, and on, the damage that is caused by this monstrous weather is much more than I think I could bear. Please pray for those people that are affected by these disasters. Though they may not be as damaging as the Joplin storms last year, the people that go through these storms all go through the same pain. Keeping especially in my thoughts those people in Henryville, Borden and Pekin, Indiana. That is too close to my hometown of Floyds Knobs, and I'm just glad no one I knew was injured. Keep those people in your thoughts and prayers the next couple of weeks as they move towards recovery.

It is times like these that I tend to try to look at the positive things I have in my life. Life can change in an instant, so it's always nice to do an inventory of things I should be thankful for, and probably take for granted. There are so many things that I sometimes forget are so wonderful and beautiful; I think we all do.

I'm thankful for my wonderful family. We may not always get along, but we sure have fun arguing or spending time together. As I've grown up, I've definitely grown closer to my immediate family (as well as my extended family); my brother is one of my best friends, and I talk to my parents almost everyday, whether it's a text, email or call. We're always connected somehow.

Family at Christmas mass 2011

I could not ask for a better group of people I call friends. You may lose some and gain more along the way of life, but right now, my friends couldn't get any better than they are now. Whether they are from grade school, high school, college or elsewhere, my days are so much better with them in my life. A text message here, or conversing about favorite tv shows; road trips to visit friends or reminiscing about the "good old days". I have so many good memories with these people, and I can't wait to make more :)

BDAZ celebration 

Always laughing and having too much fun

Weird faces are always necessary on nights out

Nothing better than girl friends :)

The ridiculous things make nights like these amazing

Couldn't ask for a better bestie :)

I'm always thankful of everything I've been given by God. Health, intelligence, etc. Without God-given abilities, I wouldn't be where I am today. While you may not believe in God, I definitely do, and I cherish my relationship with Him. One thing that has strengthened my relationship with God (or more accurately, restarted my relationship) was the senior retreat my high school held. 4 days of reflection on yourself, on your relationship with your peers, with God, and more reflection towards the future, I began to realized what I wanted out of my life. And now, almost 6 years after my senior retreat, I still think back to that time, and how that prepared me to get through anything life threw at me.

The main message from that retreat: "I'm Loveable; God Doesn't Make Junk". Such a simple phrase, yet so powerful. And such a great one to remember. I know that there are some days that seem so hard, and it's so easy to fall into negativity, but just remember that little phrase. You are loveable: not just by God, but by some many people in your life. It's easy to forget, but just as easy to remember. God Doesn't Make Junk: apparently that phrase has been around for a long time. But it's so true. I think there is a bigger purpose for each and every one of us than what we know. There is a reason we are here; there are things we were meant to accomplish, people we were meant to meet. Why would God make something that doesn't have value?

So next time you're feeling down, just remember all the good things (big or small) that you have in your life, and remember that "You Are Loveable; God Doesn't Make Junk". Keep Calm, and Carry On. Life throws you curveballs, but don't be afraid to strikeout. There is so much to life, so go experience it.

That's all for me. Have a wonderful evening and a wonderful Sunday tomorrow. Life is too beautiful to let it pass us by. :)

The Road to Achieving Dreams.

I know it's been a while since my last blog post, but unfortunately, it takes a while for me to find something to blog about, and then it's even longer for me to find time to actually write. But continuing with last blog post's theme, I've been thinking a lot about dreams, and how to achieve those dreams.

Facebook and Twitter are some of the best places to find interesting information, videos, news stories, etc. My friend Caitlin posted this on her wall, and I had to steal it to share it with everyone. Yes, it may be 17 minutes long, but watch it all the way through. It is such an inspiration to everyone, or at least it should be. Most people don't go through 1/100th of what this man went through, and he's still living a life he loves. Matt Long - The Power of "I Will"

Some dreams I've achieved during my life, and I cannot be more proud of them. When I was younger, a big dream of mine was to have the greatest group of friends I could. Middle school and high school were a hard time for me, since I didn't always feel like I had that group of friends I could go to for support or really interact with. I made sacrifices for getting those friends with my academics and with sports, and while that time was hard, my work and determination put me in a position to go to Centre, and meet some of the best people I have ever met. Don't get me wrong, I still love all my friends I met at home, but I finally found people that wanted what I wanted and had goals of their own that matched mine.

This past weekend, a large group of those friends came up to visit and go out for my and Karen's birthday party. Though not everyone I wanted to come up could, a large amount of people came, and we had an absolute blast. I realized the next day at breakfast how lucky I was to find these people who I could count on day in and day out, and how much I loved them in return. I hope that everyone has people like that for them. My dream has finally come true, and I cannot be more happy with the choices I made to get to this point.

And recently, I've had dreams goals that have to do with education and the future. My dream to further my education is in progress, and I have to remember that sometimes I had to make more sacrifices to achieve this goal. While it may be hard, it is imperative for me to remember what I'm trying to get out of this experience. Hopefully, at the end, everything I wished for will come true.

What dreams have you achieved, and what goals did you set for yourself? What sacrifices did you have to make? From the video above, Matt Long talks about how successfully reaching your dreams does not come without sacrifices. To achieve the goals you made for yourself, you don't just wake up one day, and see that your dream came true. You have to push yourself to the limit, and then past that limit. The end result is so worth it.

And maybe that's what makes dreams so special when they do come true. Knowing that all the effort you put forth actually made a difference. It may be challenging at first, and even continue to be challenging, but working through those challenges make you a stronger person, and able to achieve anything you set your mind to.

Don't ever stop dreaming, making goals, going for the best things life has to offer. Living a stagnant life is one of the worst things we as human beings can do. If you find yourself living life going through the motions, be brave and do something to change that. Find something that makes you excited to live life. It's too beautiful of a thing to waste. Make goals, make the necessary sacrifices to achieve whatever it is you are working toward, and one day, reap the benefits of your hard work: that's my road to achieving dreams.

I'll be talking to you later, dreamers. Synthesis is calling my name, and that's part of my dreaming right now. Until next time.

Sometimes dreams are hard.

One thing we were told as children is that we can do anything we want to do, be anything we want to be. We as human beings were raised to dream at a young age. We all have dreams, though they may have changed through our lifetime. As children, we wanted to be astronauts, professional athletes, famous singers, actors, actresses, firefighters, doctors, etc. As we grew up, our dreams changed. We wanted to graduate high school, date the perfect person, dreams that seemed more attainable. Other dreams included finding a perfect prom dress, having a memorable summer with friends.

As we continued to live, some dreams we accomplished, some dreams fell short, new dreams were made. We continue to achieve dreams we've had for a day or for years. We continue to make new dreams. We continue strive for something bigger than what we are at this moment.

It can be too easy to give up on these dreams whenever things get hard, get complicated, get stressful. It seems to be too much, and to take the easy road out seems most sensible. But that's what makes accomplishing dreams so fantastic, the joy you feel from meeting a goal, getting one step closer to making your dream a reality.

Isn't that what life is about? Making dreams come true? Regardless how small or large these dreams are, whether you have to tweak an original dream to make it happen, or even "failing", making a dream come true is a magical feeling that only you can take away. Even by failing, one dream may close, but some many possible dreams can come from it.

No matter how frustrated you feel, how disappointed you may be, don't ever be afraid to dream.

"All dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

"Dream and give yourself permission to envision a "you" that you choose to be." - Joy Page

What are your dreams you are pursuing? Have you achieved any dreams? How big do you dream? When did you become a dreamer?

Keep dreaming, dreamers. It's those dreams that make each person special, and those dreams that encourage and inspire others.

Don't Tread on Me.

You might not know this about me, but I LOVE soccer. Seeing as I don't have Fox Soccer Network, and my ESPN3 doesn't work at the house, the only times I can watch soccer is at a bar (which is always a nice excuse to get out and about) or when it's on ESPN (which is rare, since right now it's basketball + NFL season). I'm probably also a very weird soccer fan, in the fact that I really don't have a favorite European team that I cheer for. I tend to cheer for the Americans that are playing overseas. Don't get me wrong, I'm just like everyone else when it comes to catching the Man U, Chelsea, Barca, Real Madrid, etc. games. It is soccer at the highest level. However, there is something about watching the US Men's National Team (and WNT for that matter). You can't help but get excited watching these professionals represent our country in a sport that we, as a country, are just starting to support. 

That lack of support comes from a couple of places. 1) Why would anyone watch soccer when you have football (American), basketball, baseball, (all which we excel at, and people from different countries would jump at the chance to play here) and there is a team that you can cheer for in your regional area? 2) Expanding from the 1st point, having these popular sports, that's what kids watch, and they grow up wanting to play those sports instead of soccer. 3) Most people truly do not understand soccer. I don't know how many people I've watched a game with that said after the final whistle, "How do you watch this? It's so boring! No one even scored!" 

Soccer is such a complex sport. One where the best play may not start by moving the ball forward. A back pass opens the field up for more opportunities for spacing, runs, etc. Every pass has to have the correct placement and force on it, or that play will be broken up. Most people talk about quarterbacks throwing the ball in such a small pocket, and how the pass has to be perfect for a receiver to have a chance to catch it. Same thing with soccer, except EVERY player has to be like a quarterback AND be a receiver. Each pass, each shot has to be placed perfectly, and each touch has to be good, otherwise the play is changed. The possession: that is what MAKES soccer the sport it is. Seeing how players shift on the field, when they don't even have the ball; the crisp one-touch passes; waiting for the precise moment to strike... that is what soccer is all about.

I can't get enough of the USMNT, I really can't. I watch highlights, interviews with the players, games, etc. I get goosebumps watching an amazing goal being scored, or a keeper make an incredible save. Most of all, I remember what it feels like to be out on the field, playing with people that you have to trust so fully, that they will give you their all in return for your hustle. Having that competitive nature, trying to win every 50/50 ball... there's nothing in the world like playing soccer.

It is that feeling from soccer that I am so grateful for. You have to work so hard to be successful, and if you don't give it your all every day, you might not make it. But if you do, regardless of bumps that come along the way, you will get what you really need (and usually it's what you want as well). You listen to professional soccer players say how they are always training, always giving the best they can, always trying to improve. Because they love what they do, and they want to be the best they possibly can. They want to have the chance to represent the team they're playing for, and maybe even a chance to represent their country.

That feeling, of working hard, being the best you can, it can be expanded into any facet of life. I've been frustrated the past few weeks, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the workload this quarter (only about 7 more weeks... thank god.). Putting it into perspective with soccer, you can make correlations with it. You work hard to get where you need to go (aka where you are at this moment), but you can't revel in the fact that you made it. You have to continue to achieve things that you may not thought to be possible. You represent your university where you study, where you research, where you make new discoveries. You represent your country with what you do, whether you think about it that way or not. Don't think of it as pressure, think of it as motivation. You want to be the best you can, because at the end of the day, you are representing yourself.

I can find motivation in small things, whether it is role models and their work ethic, or it's a dream I want to accomplish. I've gotten this far, why not go as far as I can?

And on the days that seem too dreary, seem to just take the wind out of your sails, just remove yourself from the situation for a minute. Think of what you want to achieve, and what it will be like once you do. Then get back in there, get training, get motivated. The opportunity is yours for the taking: just do it.

What has motivated you to get to where you are today? What continues to motivate you? Where do you get your competitive nature? What drives you to be better than you were yesterday?

Live a life you're proud of and if you need to, have the strength to start all over again.

After a mini hiatus, hibernation, etc., it's back to the grind. Christmas time is always a fantastic time of the year (minus the cold weather); there's plenty of family and friends to get in touch with, a season full of music all about love and remembering the good of people and events, and it's great for reflection of the past year that we've experienced. I had a great Christmas holidays from school, so much so that I almost didn't want to come back. (I did, obviously, because we can't be in vacation mode all the time, as nice as it would be) I hope everyone else had a blessed holiday season as well.

And now somehow it turned into 2012, a whole new year! A new year to redefine yourself, change your view, or to dig deep and continue on with the path you are on. There are very subtle choices that we make at the start of each new year, resolutions that we make with the best intentions. (Whether we actually do them or not is another subject in itself lol) Even if we don't make resolutions, there are those choices that we make, unknowningly or not. Like, how will I begin to make this year great? Or, what is a goal I want to set for this year to complete? Might sound like resolutions, but I don't like making them, because I almost always give up by mid-January. But I do like goals.

These small choices that we make at the beginning of this year made me think of the lives we choose to live. The way life plays out is based on choices that we make, small or big. While there may be a curveball thrown in every once in a while, life is what you make it. How you deal with those curveballs gives you the life you're going to live. Is it the one that you want to live? Is your life one that you are proud of living? You might not have to work to cure cancer, or be a CEO of a company, or something that defines you as "successful" by society's standards to be proud of your life. Or do you? What makes you proud of the life you're living? Is it based on money, success in your career, material "toys" that show off how well off you're doing? Or is it more than that? Is it the family and friends and people that are in your life that makes you proud? Do you continue to find joy in the small things in life, or is it always about the bigger picture? Is there any way to balance?

Everyone is different in the way they conduct themselves. So wouldn't it make the most sense to find out what you want out of life, and then go for it, regardless if it fits with society's view, or if it's what you are being pushed toward by family, friends, etc.? The people close to you should support you regardless of what you do, as long as you are happy with it and the decisions you have made to get there. But if you find yourself unhappy, change the way you do things. I know it's much easier said than done, but no one said life was easy. The people that seem to have it made and have an easy life most likely worked ridiculously hard to get to where they are. They made tough choices somewhere along the road, and are happy with the choices they made.

That's what I love most about the coming of a new year: looking to the future, while reflecting on the past to learn from mistakes we have made. No one likes to make mistakes, but we all make them. But dwelling on them, it seems to me to be a short term solution. Those past actions happened, and there's nothing you can do to go back and change them. But you can learn from them, and make changes for the future. With a new year ahead of us, there is so much that we can do, learn, experience. So many opportunities we didn't have last year to take advantage of. With our busy lives, that's something that is easy to forget. I know that I definitely need to take my own advice and take advantage of opportunities that come my way (and get me out of my lab once in a while).

Enough with the reflection time... now onto some positive talk. (After all, everyone loves to look at the positive things in life) It's a new year, so let's make the most of it! I know it's hard to take advantage of the beautiful places we're in while it is a bit chilly, but as it starts to get warmer, get outside! Go for a walk, listen to nature's soundtrack, try something you've never done before. Go check out that new restaurant you've been meaning to try. Take a spontaneous roadtrip (whether it's to the next town or states away). A new year means new opportunities! GO DO THEM! Don't just let life slip through your fingers; it is, after all, what you make it.

Everything happens for a reason, and let's make sure we find the positive in every event that takes place. For every dark spot, there is a light side to it as well. Might be hard to see, but it's up to you to find it.

And that's it for me. Sorry if this is a bit disjointed. I've just been in a reflecting mood a bit. Trying to find myself a little bit again. There are so many choices I've had to make already, and it's only been a week into 2012. A bit unnerving, but nothing I can't handle. Off to enjoy the day and night on this January 7th. Hope you can do the same!!! Kisses.