Have you had your moment of happiness today?

My last post, I talked about the "100 Happy Days" challenge and how I was starting it that day. 23 days and going strong on that. As each day has passed, it's made me think about some things.

One of my most confusing thoughts was this: You can find something every day that makes you happy. It could be big, it could be small, it could be an object, a thought, a good deed, something you witnessed, a choice you made... whatever it is, there is something every day that could make you feel happiness. However, if you are only happy for that moment that you experience that "happiness", does that count as a "happy" day? Does your 100 happy days have to encompass the entire 24 hour period? Is it an overall happiness, or a stolen moment here and there?

Having candidacy for my PhD program is a blessing and a curse, somedays. My position within the program is mostly stable, and now I'm working to get out in a desired amount of time. It's wonderful and terrifying at the same time, hoping I meet time constraints, making sure data is accumulated while being efficient... it's really made me question my work like I never have before. Chemistry has been a part of my life since I was 16. I'm 26 now... that's 10 years that I've wanted to be a chemist. Never have I "hated", "despised" or been "uninterested" in my project, in my work before. Was it because of my project and how it was progressing? Or was it something bigger? Am I really meant to be a chemist, or have I been fooling myself for too long, and just figured it out now that I'm closer to accomplishing my most recent goal?

Those thoughts got me into a funk... and so then the question of "am I actually happy today?" came into play, and was it affecting other parts of my life that I was happy with. And it really made me think of this "100 happy days"... was I being hypocritical, saying that I had 23 happy days so far, though most of the time I didn't feel happy except for some moments thru the day?

My conclusion: I think it's impossible to be completely content and happy for a full day, every day. You do what you can to be happy in all aspects of life. You do the best you can. You explore what makes you happy, and if the good outweigh the bad throughout the day, I'd call it a victory. Some days you'll fall off the happy wagon, and you just gotta hang on and pull yourself back on it. But without sadness, we couldn't appreciate happiness.

So, for those doing the "100 Happy Days", I'd say if you can find something that makes you smile, laugh, etc., then that's a happy day. Or that's how I'm looking at it. Ultimately, it's up to you.

P.S. for the record, I've figured out that I was unhappy with the progression of my project. I decided to just push through it, do what I can to work towards the finish, and see what happens. And what do you know, Monday, I finally grew some crystals... something that I've been trying since summer 2012.

Keep your head up. Spring is on its way. :) :) Soak in the Vitamin D, and smile. You're alive another day.

Until next time, loves.

100 Happy Days: Could you do it? Want to try it with me?

Hello blog world,

I've been slacking on posting. Please forgive me. It's difficult for me to sit still enough to write down something (or at least that's my excuse), but I will definitely try to be better at this. :)

So, I'm not sure if you've heard of this concept, but there is a website (shared below) that gives you the challenge of being happy for 100 straight days. 100 Happy Days Overall, what you do is you take a picture/write a status/etc., and it has to do with something that makes you happy. It could be big, it could be small. It doesn't matter, because it's what makes you happy. You document these happy things for 100 days straight... sounds easy right? Since we all know that everyday is wonderful and amazing and yada-yada. It sounds very difficult, but I always enjoy a challenge.

I've seen some of my friends attempt this, and I want to do the same. It follows the main reason I started this blog: to remind ourselves to be positive, to be happy, even if it seems the world is against us that minute, that day, that week. Whomever came up with this idea is brilliant, and I want to meet them.

So: I start my #100happydays today. Will you join me?

I yam what I yam... though I'm not a fan of yams... or sweet potatoes most of the time.

Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if I was a different person, or had a different attitude, a different way of growing up, a different lifestyle... it's nice to daydream about it.

But then I come back to reality, and realize I am what I am, I am who I am, and I can't change (most of) that. There are some little things I am working on... but overall I'm pretty happy with who I am at this point in my life.

... and then, I came upon this list. (P.S. I LOVE lists. To-do lists, lists about characteristics, lists of favorite books, movies, sports, etc., grocery lists; I could go on for forever. Listing what kinds of lists I love. lol)

16 Signs You're A Little (or A Lot) Type A

I have considered myself to have a Type A personality. I get it from my momma, though I'm not as hardcore as she is. But she's a boss, so I can't say anything bad about that either.

Some of the characteristics that are completely true:

• You're highly conscientious.
• You frequently talk over and interrupt people.
• You have a hard time falling asleep at night.
• You put more energy into your career than your relationships.
• You have a low tolerance for incompetence.
• You'd be lost without your to-do list.
• You're sensitive to stress.
• You make it happen.

Soooooo... I know I pretty much just ruined over half of the article/list right there. But, still read it. I think it rings true to so many people.

While I can relate and see all these characteristics, there are many of these "character traits" that I need to rid from my personality. If it means becoming more of a Type A/B hybrid, so be it.

I have realized that I talk over people and interrupt people CONSTENTLY. I hate that I do that, but I haven't made a conscious effort to stop myself from being rude. That is one of my main resolutions this year. I know it comes from being impatient, and I need to slow things down.

I won't go through all these characteristics, because, let's be honest, no one really cares. If you know me, then you can see why I picked these. But. SERIOUSLY. Without a to-do list for daily tasks, weekly tasks, etc... I wouldn't remember to do about 83% of my things I want to get done. It's sad, but my memory just isn't what it once was. Maybe it's from smelling all those chemicals daily, or just thinking of too much. Thank goodness I like to make to-do lists.

Even though there are some Type A tendencies that are in a negative light, I do care a lot about my career, as well as the people in my life. It stresses me out sometimes, but I look at it that I'd rather care too much than not care at all. All I can do is try to not stress out as much, but still kick ass in life. 

Do you consider yourself to have Type A tendencies? Are there any tendencies that speak to you more than others? Would you want to change any of these if you feel like you have these characteristics? 

Overall, just try to be happy with yourself, where you are at this moment. It may all change tomorrow, but you'll figure that out when it happens. Live in the moment, and be happy doing it. I'm finally getting some pictures printed from Italy, and making my room a bit more homey. It's been a while since I've been able to do anything crafty. With that, and doing a little bit of Cincy photography coming up this weekend, I'm pretty excited for it all.

Have a wonderful week, and don't forget that Monday is now home to The Bachelor Season 18!!! OOOOOOOH JUAN PABLO. :)

2013 coming to a close.

As the new year approaches, three things tend to happen:

1) People like to remember all the things they are thankful for, and look back on the year. Remember the wonderful times and people in their lives, all the difficulties they've had to overcome, wonder how the year is over, etc.

2) New Years Resolutions are being made. Whether it is a fitness goal/routine, trying new hobbies, keeping in touch with friends and family, or whatever other resolution it is, almost everyone I know is all making them. Now, it's not a bad thing by any means. Most people need some kind of event or reason to make a new habit. However, I know I cannot follow them to save my life if I make them a New Years Resolution, so I choose not to make them. If I want to make a decision, I just do it. (Again, that's just me, because I'm sick of failing to keep my New Years resolutions.)

3) Everyone gets football crazy. There's the end of the NFL season, as well as Bowl Week for college football. I personally love it, because there's usually at least one good game a day, and so I'm covered on the entertainment for the day.

2013 was definitely a whirlwind of a year, going even faster than the year before. I celebrated coming into the year with my best friends, passed my 2nd year talk, went through some soul searching after relationship issues, got re-energized by new friends and US Soccer, went home a lot in the spring to keep up with friends and March Madness, watched the Cards win the National Championship, spent two weeks in Italy, spent a wonderful summer all over, got to know a great new class of graduate students, reconnected, passed my candidacy exam, and so much more. This year has been full of ups and downs, but overall, I could not be happier with 2013 as a whole. I've learned a lot, and I know there is lots more to learn with the 2014 year approaching.

I can't wait to spend my last night in 2013 around some of my best friends, dancing, partying, living up my 25 years.

If you plan out New Years resolutions, make them so that you feel happy doing them. And if you stumble, don't feel bad. Just pick yourself up and try it again. That's how life is, just picking yourself back up if you get pushed down.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and an even better 2013. I wish nothing but happiness for everyone in the next year. :)

Streetcar, anyone?

Save the Streetcar!

In following my overall theme of positive thinking, I'm hoping that you all will help myself and Cincinnatians out with a teeny request. The public transit system here is pretty bad. The Metro bus system is slightly better than the TARC buses back in Louisville, and new routes will be more helpful. However, the city has twice voted for the building of a streetcar system in the Over-The-Rhine district. The new mayor-elect John Cranley wants to halt this project, and pay back the money to the Federal Government in order to "help balance the budget".

For all those who have never stepped foot in Cincinnati, or those who know very little about Cincinnati and some of its culture, there were many opportunities to have a great public transit system installed. A subway system in the early 20th century was in the process of being built. Due to WWI, then additional construction costs, the Great Depression and WWII, the project was discarded. You can still visit these abandoned subway tunnels with tours in OTR and from the Museum Center.

There was a streetcar system previously in Cincinnati in the 1890s, and it was dismantled in the 1950s. With the rise in popularity in the car adding on to this, urban flight increased dramatically. http://www.cincinnati-oh.gov/streetcar/background-benefits/ After 1950, less and less people lived in the actual city of Cincinnati and moved out to the suburbs.

The current public transit system, Metro, only travels to the Government Square area of downtown, and not many stops closer to the Riverfront, or in OTR. Buses are usually very crowded, and downtown itself has an enormous number of surface parking lots to accommodate for cars. This does not bring a lot of business to the downtown areas, and gives little room for prosperity.

The current streetcar system is based off the one currently in Portland, OR. The city spent $57 million on the system, and have made a profit of $1.6 billion. Um, hello? I think that's a pretty good amount of money that can be made and help revive Cincinnati, if this project continues.

The first route goes from the Banks downtown (in between the Reds and Bengals stadium) up to Findlay Market area in OTR. There are plans to also put down tracks up Vine Street to reach University of Cincinnati and the Uptown area (the Zoo, Children's Hospital, etc.). This will bring so much travel to downtown and OTR, and help bring prosperity to the parts of the city that need to keep growing. So many international students that study at UC have no mode of public transit to leave Clifton, and this streetcar could solve that.

The streetcar is necessary for the growth of Cincinnati. If for nothing else, please click on the link at the beginning of my post and sign the petition for me. I may not reap most of the benefits from the streetcar, but think of all those who can. I support light rail, and hope that our country overall will start moving to high speed and light rail over highway travel.

Keep our country progressing forward. Help Cincinnati keep progressing. I have come to love this city in the past 2.5 years of living here, and stopping this streetcar will do more harm than good.

Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you.

It's hard to believe that in 2003, the band Paramore was getting their start, and the lead singer, Hayley Williams, was the same age as me. BUT I STILL LOVE THEM, and their recent song "Still Into You". Listen to it.

Paramore - Still Into You

I like fun songs. They make me want to dance around the lab, in my room, in my car... wherever.

This song obviously is speaking about how the singer is still into "you", which is most likely another person/significant other. It's cute, and I like the song for that reason. You gotta love cute love songs.

However, I'm also going to put this song with my undying love for chemistry. I know that I always complain about how bad chemistry is, and how much I hate it. But with only 16 days until my candidacy exam, I can be honest with myself: I LOVE CHEMISTRY. and I'm still into it. For reals.

If I didn't still love chemistry, I wouldn't pull late nights and all nighters. I wouldn't be mad when the kids in my recitation just want to get an easy A, and doesn't care about how to arrow push or why a mechanism is the way it is. Why reactions happen theoretically but not entirely the same way in real conditions. I wouldn't be able to freak out and be calm at the same time while preparing for my big exam. It wouldn't matter why a reaction didn't work, even though I followed the protocol.

Chemistry is wonderful, and I want everyone to know it. Especially when it works, but that's beside the point. I want my PhD in chemistry, because I love the subject. Organic, biochemistry, analytical, inorganic, even physical... it's all fascinating how you can explain the world around you. How specific chemical reaction converts oxygen to carbon dioxide; how theory can be calculated and explain experimental results... it's all so fascinating.

So yes, chemistry, I'm still into you, after all this time.

(Come talk to me in 15 days and see if I've changed my tune)

Most of the other 3rd years in my program have been passing their candidacy exams, so let's hope this trend continues for when it comes to my talk. :) :)

Back to my photochemistry experiments!

This one's for all my science boos out there.

One thing that I've learned through my life is that happiness is fleeting. Being in the science world, there are a few rare moments of happiness. You get a great result, you discover something new, some experiment tells you something you weren't expecting but it turns out that it's actually cooler than what you were originally studying... there are so many "moments" of happiness that you can achieve with science. However, those moments are over so quickly, before you are coming up with new experiments, new hypotheses, and the work that comes with all these new things from our "happy moments". Quite frankly, it gets exhausting rather quickly. And you never know when one of those happy moments will strike... whether it's tomorrow or 5 months from now. Frustrating. So. Frustrating.

Even when not doing experiments, writing journal articles to get published or a thesis/dissertation to get your MS/PhD... there is just an overall tone of frustration. Everything has to be PERFECT. You have to finish you research and publish it before competitors do, otherwise all that work is for nothing. Your figures have to grab the attention of the reviewer, of the reader. Making science interesting can be hard. 

We scientists have so much to complain about. We sit in labs all day, running experiments, writing, reading, teaching. Sometimes these labs are really nice, sometimes they feel like dungeons. We complain about a bad day of data collection, about how our students in recitation don't listen to us when we are giving them what they need to know for the quiz they are about to take, about how our chemistry doesn't work... we complain pretty much everything. Misery loves company, and the company our misery keeps is each other.

... However, there is a way to battle this "science syndrome" though. 

1) Go in every day trying to accomplish something. Even if the main thing you accomplish is cleaning your desk and making a workspace again, you did it. Use that as momentum for the next day. If you weren't able to repeat an experiment like you hoped, just get up the next day and try to remember that it is a NEW day. You can do it.

2) Try to think of happiness as a state of mind, instead of trying to find it in people, places or things. I know that I like to buy things to make me happy: shoes, clothing, fro-yo, sushi, etc. But as soon as the newness wears off, or it's gone, the happiness associated with it is gone. You can have memories of places you traveled, and the happiness you had when you were there experiencing the place, but it begins to fade the longer you are away. So why put a tag on happiness? Why not just try to be happy, with whatever you're doing, with whomever you are with, wherever you are. Just enjoy each and every moment you can. People say that only you can make yourself unhappy; it also goes the other way as well, only you can make yourself happy. So make yourself happy.

... that's all I have for now to combat frustrating times... but I'm living life one day at a time, trying to figure it out. That counts for something, right?

To all my friends who are going through qualifiers/defenses coming up: keep your head up, and keep plugging away. We will get stressed. We will get frustrated. We will be exhausted by the end. But we WILL get through this together. Instead of complaining about all the bad things that are upon us, let's build each other up to get ourselves through it. 

This definitely has a theme in mind, but even if you are not a science person, or going through what I am, you can definitely try to apply this to your own lifestyle. It works for most things, just substitute some things here and there. You'll be okay... we'll all be okay. :)

Until later. Qualifying exam looms near... only 1 month and 1 day away. Pray to the chemistry gods for me, everyone. It's gonna be one hell of a month.