This one's for all my science boos out there.

One thing that I've learned through my life is that happiness is fleeting. Being in the science world, there are a few rare moments of happiness. You get a great result, you discover something new, some experiment tells you something you weren't expecting but it turns out that it's actually cooler than what you were originally studying... there are so many "moments" of happiness that you can achieve with science. However, those moments are over so quickly, before you are coming up with new experiments, new hypotheses, and the work that comes with all these new things from our "happy moments". Quite frankly, it gets exhausting rather quickly. And you never know when one of those happy moments will strike... whether it's tomorrow or 5 months from now. Frustrating. So. Frustrating.

Even when not doing experiments, writing journal articles to get published or a thesis/dissertation to get your MS/PhD... there is just an overall tone of frustration. Everything has to be PERFECT. You have to finish you research and publish it before competitors do, otherwise all that work is for nothing. Your figures have to grab the attention of the reviewer, of the reader. Making science interesting can be hard. 

We scientists have so much to complain about. We sit in labs all day, running experiments, writing, reading, teaching. Sometimes these labs are really nice, sometimes they feel like dungeons. We complain about a bad day of data collection, about how our students in recitation don't listen to us when we are giving them what they need to know for the quiz they are about to take, about how our chemistry doesn't work... we complain pretty much everything. Misery loves company, and the company our misery keeps is each other.

... However, there is a way to battle this "science syndrome" though. 

1) Go in every day trying to accomplish something. Even if the main thing you accomplish is cleaning your desk and making a workspace again, you did it. Use that as momentum for the next day. If you weren't able to repeat an experiment like you hoped, just get up the next day and try to remember that it is a NEW day. You can do it.

2) Try to think of happiness as a state of mind, instead of trying to find it in people, places or things. I know that I like to buy things to make me happy: shoes, clothing, fro-yo, sushi, etc. But as soon as the newness wears off, or it's gone, the happiness associated with it is gone. You can have memories of places you traveled, and the happiness you had when you were there experiencing the place, but it begins to fade the longer you are away. So why put a tag on happiness? Why not just try to be happy, with whatever you're doing, with whomever you are with, wherever you are. Just enjoy each and every moment you can. People say that only you can make yourself unhappy; it also goes the other way as well, only you can make yourself happy. So make yourself happy.

... that's all I have for now to combat frustrating times... but I'm living life one day at a time, trying to figure it out. That counts for something, right?

To all my friends who are going through qualifiers/defenses coming up: keep your head up, and keep plugging away. We will get stressed. We will get frustrated. We will be exhausted by the end. But we WILL get through this together. Instead of complaining about all the bad things that are upon us, let's build each other up to get ourselves through it. 

This definitely has a theme in mind, but even if you are not a science person, or going through what I am, you can definitely try to apply this to your own lifestyle. It works for most things, just substitute some things here and there. You'll be okay... we'll all be okay. :)

Until later. Qualifying exam looms near... only 1 month and 1 day away. Pray to the chemistry gods for me, everyone. It's gonna be one hell of a month.

Overall, I just want to be successful.

With the weather changing, and the temperature dropping, we come upon the season of Pumpkin Spice Lattes, sweaters, boots, fires, hot chocolate, and blankets. I LOVE FALL. But there is something about fall that makes me want to forget about work, and just porch sit like crazy with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Which is not beneficial to my production at school and getting ready for my third year talk... which is coming up in a month and a half. Yikes.

However, for our Life After Graduate School course, we took a tour of Givudan Flavors, just about 10 miles down the road from UC. Besides having a wonderful facility, and just being super cool in general, it reminded me that a job like that is the end game that I should be working toward with my work here in graduate school. For now, yes, the dissertation, papers, talks, etc. are all important (especially to continue on to get those things done), but that's not what I'm spending my entire 5 years trying to do. After my degree is done, I most likely won't ever look after this again. Which is slightly depressing, but encouraging at the same time.

But that tour helped to remind me what potential long-term goals I have for myself, and that I need to continue to work hard to get there. Talk about getting the push I needed to get motivated again. I want to get out of here with my PhD. That is the short term goal.

Long term, I want to be successful. In science. In relationships. In life, in general. And I think a lot of that comes with grad school, and making sure that I finish up strong. I want to make my life better, more comfortable. There a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I don't know everything yet I want to accomplish, but I need to get off my butt and get some work done.

Take a few minutes, and write down your goals that you want to accomplish. They could be for tomorrow, next month, next year, or long term goals. Once those goals are down, think about how you can accomplish those goals. Reward yourself once you reach your goals. Don't beat yourself up too much if you don't reach your goals; just make yourself work harder to reach the next one.

What is the main success that you want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Even though it's raining outside, I still feel sunny and happy.

Read:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/16/happiness-habits-of-exuberant-human-beings_n_3909772.html

There are some very good tips in this article. See how many of these habits you do already, and see if you can change some of your old habits to these new ones. You never think about simple things making you happy, but those simple things are what makes life fun, and extraordinary.

The one about "trying to be happy"... I tell this to people all the time. It's amazing how easily you can turn your day around with one simple thing.

I'm about to head back to the scientific depths on my life, so until next time.

How to Continuously Stay Happy... or Something Like It

We're human beings. We are. We feel every range of emotions at any given time. We can be feeling down, and the next second, something happens and we feel happy. We could feel lonely, and then go to feeling content. It makes little sense, but that's life, right?

So how do we stay happy all the time? Continuously? Is that even possible?

The answer: we don't stay happy all the time. We can't stay continuously happy.

There is no possible to always feel good about life, about the people surrounding you, about your job, about your outlook on life, about your appearance. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. No one can keep it for every second. If you think you can, you are kidding yourself.

So that's the bad part, right? No one can continuously stay happy.

The good news: it's not expected for you to stay happy all the time.

The sooner we realize that simple fact, the sooner we can be content and happy for a longer time. We are not perfect. We might think we are expected to be, but we cannot be. Anyone who expects perfection out of themselves or out of other people are looking for answers they won't find.

Stop looking for perfection in every thing, every moment.

Let life happen. Try to live in the moment. Plan ahead, but be ready for roadblocks, detours and itinerary changes. Enjoy the people that come in and out of your life. Remember that life is what you make of it. Sometimes the sadness, loneliness, anger can lead to some of the happiest, most content and exciting moments.

If you can, forgive others, and forgive yourself. We're all human, we all live in the same world. I think it'd be better to enjoy it with others, don't you?

If you need to, be sad. Be lonely. It's okay. But overall, try to be content. Try to be happy. If only for a moment. You use more muscles in your face to frown than to smile. Remember that.

Here's to being happy... tomorrow. :)

let me see beneath your beautiful tonight.

Everyone has something that inspires them to something creative. I know I'm not entirely the most creative person, especially when it comes to writing. But when I'm in a certain mood, and I hear just the right song, it just clicks and inspiration comes. This time, Labrinth's "Beneath Your Beautiful" is my muse for this post.

There are so many times that we, as humans, do not think we are good enough as we are. We must wear pounds of makeup for that perfect complexion. We tan like crazy so we don't look like pale ghosts (for those who do not have the beach in the neighborhood and get that natural sun). We post everything fun we ever do on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, social media etc. (Guilty as charged.), just so we think that other people think that we are cool, fun, whatever adjective you want to throw in there.

We are all so worried about what other people think about us. We want to be accepted by people so badly, we sometimes do things that aren't really "us". We conform to what we think people want from us. We lose our true self in the process. Others thoughts are more important than happiness sometimes.

And we are worried about what we think of ourselves. Are we actually happy with who we are? Is that where the real problem is, and we think instead that we are making this "new identity" of ourselves for others, just to make ourselves feel better?

I know I've had my fair share of times feeling down, not liking who I was (aka emo JenVern... high school, man, it was "rough"). There are days where I question who I am, what I'm doing with my life.

But then I remember that I have purpose, that I am where I want to be. There is always growing to be had, but overall, I'm pretty content with where I am. I know, deep down, who I want to be, and that's all that matters to me. I just need to remember that, and not let the haterzzz get me down. You all need to remember that too.

Are you content with who you are, where you are in life? If not, only you can do something about it. Write down goals for personal life, emotional life, work life, and any other goal you want to achieve to get you to where you want to be... and then start taking those baby steps towards them.

Family, friends, significant others want to see the real you. I think we all see glimpses of our real selves, of other people, who they really are. I think we could all use time to show who we really are, to our loved ones, to ourselves, every once in a while. I think we all know a piece of what is hidden, and it really is a beautiful person.

For 5 minutes a day, just don't worry about what people think of you, of your goals, of your life. And just revel in the fact that you are you. You are wonderful. You are working on your life. You are working on being content. You are working on yourself. And you are worth it.

Anytime you (or myself) may feel down, I hope you find this comforting. And refreshing... and able to get you back on the bumpy road that is life. Life is a beautiful thing, go explore it with those you love.

... and if you haven't listened to that song, DO IT. Lots of piano, wonderful harmonies. Great song.

We could all use a little pick-me-up every once in a while.

I'm currently sitting in my lab, door closed (screw the fire hazard), and semi-blaring music while I'm doing a few hours of work. Maybe because it's Sunday, or it's been a busy last few weeks, or something... but for some reason I'm in the mood for reflection and questioning.

Or maybe it's the fact that I'm post-vacation, and I miss it? Perhaps. Italy Vernia Family Vacay was fantastic, and just what I needed: two weeks away from school, stress, responsibility. I could eat all the pasta I wanted, drink all the wine and cappuccinos my heart desired... and I did. It was beautiful weather in a beautiful place. Got to hike one day in Cinque Terre, and take in the architecture the rest of the vacation. Perfect two weeks away. Wish I could have stayed for longer and explored Florence longer, but such is life. We all have to come back to reality at some point.

But coming back wasn't all that bad either. Research is being semi-nice for once, and it may continue to be nice (but get a lot busier... not necessarily a bad thing). But now that I am off my vacation high, and it's back to the real world, being in lab also makes me introspective.

Call it boredom, call it "being in the dumps", call it sadness... actually, don't call it any of that. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's not just one emotion, and it's not really sadness. Things are changing around me, and I don't think I'm on the same pace that change is happening. That's why I think I'm slightly freaking out about it.

I start teaching next week, which gives me a lot more to do. Picking back up CGSA duties, teaching, getting back into full-time researching, trying to workout and stay healthy, have social time... it feels like it's the school year again. Though there aren't as many students, which is always a nice break during the summer. But this summer is going to fly by... which is the the scariest thing to think about.

The fall brings the beginning of the 3rd year of my PhD program, which leads to the candidacy talk... the dreaded 3rd year talk... the make or break talk. While I'm not as stressed as I should be about it, it's hard not to think about the impending doom that comes with it. Every conversation at school mentions research, or how the talk is going to be terrible, etc. etc.

So with that, and a feeling of slight loneliness, it gives me weird feelings. Like I need a pick-me-up or something. I had pizza (nom nom) this weekend, and had a wonderful Friday with friends. But the thing that has always gotten me back into a groove is music. One of my favorite people who can put a smile on my face and joy in my heart is Andrew McMahon. Never heard of him? Don't worry, you have now.

Pianist and lead vocals for Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin, he is now doing a solo act. So: if you need some music to check out, albums include:
Leaving Through the Window and North - Something Corporate
Everything in Transit, The Glass Passenger, and People and Things (as well as Dear Jack EP) - Jack's Mannequin
The Pop Underground - Andrew McMahon

Just something about the piano gets me in a good mood every time. It brings me back to a simpler time when I use to take piano lessons, and the worst thing that could happen was actually having to practice. But whenever I listen to his music (especially Everything in Transit straight through), it's like I took a Vitamin D pill, and I'm drinking homemade strawberry lemonade, porch sitting on my porch swing and flowers are blooming around me.

I know we all have that one thing that just brightens our day. Mine happens to be Andrew McMahon. What's yours?

I think between my dear friend Andrew, exercising this week, NKOTB/98 Degrees/Boyz II Men, and getting back in my routine, I'll be back into my sunshiney world... while I sit in my darkened wet lab. :)

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and are staying cool. It's getting hot out there, and we need to keep hydrated. Have a great summer (to those that get something like it).

Wait, what do you mean I only have 20 followers on Twitter?

To follow up with the last blog post of "15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy", there's an article I found (again on facebook, get off it) that I enjoyed going through. It's a little bit shorter, a little bit more sarcastic, but still very very true. 32 Thoughts You Should Stop Caring About

In this "article", they talk about things that we really shouldn't care about (such as #4, what the people you don't like are posting on their Facebook statuses, or #8, the opinions of people who a) will never like you and b) have absolutely no bearing on your life) to things that are a little bit more fun to joke about (#21, how many followers you have on Twitter, or #25, eating salads on dates (can I get a burger wrapped in bacon, please?)), yet we still care about them.

Why is it that we do care about these things? Yes, some are worries that we have because of low self-worth/self-esteem, or trying to figure out what our path in life is really supposed to be (have we found it yet, are we even going in the right direction, wait, how old am I?). We all have worries, but most of them we really shouldn't worry about.

This complied list really brings forward what kind of things we wonder and think about, and ultimately worry about. The funny thing is, most of these things really shouldn't matter. It makes me remember to take a step back, breathe, and really think about what is important in our lives.

Is it what Kim Khardashian and Kanye West are doing every second? (yes, duh.) Is it what people might think of the dress you are wearing when going out to a bar with your friends for a girls night? (obviously, where have you been?) Is it being the only single one in your group of friends? (OH GOD KILL ME BEFORE THAT HAPPENS)

No, it's the things that we perceive to be a huge deal, when in the grand scheme of life, they aren't at all. We forget that these little things (while we need to treasure the good ones) can ultimately cause so much more stress in our life than we need.

There are going to be people that don't like you. You can't change that, as much as you would like to. There are going to be people who are thinner, better dressed, better spoken than you, but that's just how genetics works. You can only do the best with what you are given, and the sooner you learn to love it, the happier you will be.

And this isn't just about immediate happiness, it's more about overall and longlasting contentness. (Is that a word? It is now...) Once we stop caring about the little things that don't really impact our lives at all, we can actually start being happy (and worrying about the things that do impact our lives, like disease, poverty, etc.)

Does this mean that we're not going to worry about these little things? OF COURSE NOT. I know for a fact that I still worry about the little things A LOT. But, if we can just all take a breath once in a while, and forget about it for a bit, I think it could help us all out immensely.

Have a wonderful day, and weekend, people. I'm about to go on vacation for two weeks to gorge myself with fine Italian pasta, cappuccino and wine, so sorry if I go off the grid for a bit. Holla, and maybe just stop sweating the small stuff, yeah? :)