How to Continuously Stay Happy... or Something Like It

We're human beings. We are. We feel every range of emotions at any given time. We can be feeling down, and the next second, something happens and we feel happy. We could feel lonely, and then go to feeling content. It makes little sense, but that's life, right?

So how do we stay happy all the time? Continuously? Is that even possible?

The answer: we don't stay happy all the time. We can't stay continuously happy.

There is no possible to always feel good about life, about the people surrounding you, about your job, about your outlook on life, about your appearance. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. No one can keep it for every second. If you think you can, you are kidding yourself.

So that's the bad part, right? No one can continuously stay happy.

The good news: it's not expected for you to stay happy all the time.

The sooner we realize that simple fact, the sooner we can be content and happy for a longer time. We are not perfect. We might think we are expected to be, but we cannot be. Anyone who expects perfection out of themselves or out of other people are looking for answers they won't find.

Stop looking for perfection in every thing, every moment.

Let life happen. Try to live in the moment. Plan ahead, but be ready for roadblocks, detours and itinerary changes. Enjoy the people that come in and out of your life. Remember that life is what you make of it. Sometimes the sadness, loneliness, anger can lead to some of the happiest, most content and exciting moments.

If you can, forgive others, and forgive yourself. We're all human, we all live in the same world. I think it'd be better to enjoy it with others, don't you?

If you need to, be sad. Be lonely. It's okay. But overall, try to be content. Try to be happy. If only for a moment. You use more muscles in your face to frown than to smile. Remember that.

Here's to being happy... tomorrow. :)

let me see beneath your beautiful tonight.

Everyone has something that inspires them to something creative. I know I'm not entirely the most creative person, especially when it comes to writing. But when I'm in a certain mood, and I hear just the right song, it just clicks and inspiration comes. This time, Labrinth's "Beneath Your Beautiful" is my muse for this post.

There are so many times that we, as humans, do not think we are good enough as we are. We must wear pounds of makeup for that perfect complexion. We tan like crazy so we don't look like pale ghosts (for those who do not have the beach in the neighborhood and get that natural sun). We post everything fun we ever do on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, social media etc. (Guilty as charged.), just so we think that other people think that we are cool, fun, whatever adjective you want to throw in there.

We are all so worried about what other people think about us. We want to be accepted by people so badly, we sometimes do things that aren't really "us". We conform to what we think people want from us. We lose our true self in the process. Others thoughts are more important than happiness sometimes.

And we are worried about what we think of ourselves. Are we actually happy with who we are? Is that where the real problem is, and we think instead that we are making this "new identity" of ourselves for others, just to make ourselves feel better?

I know I've had my fair share of times feeling down, not liking who I was (aka emo JenVern... high school, man, it was "rough"). There are days where I question who I am, what I'm doing with my life.

But then I remember that I have purpose, that I am where I want to be. There is always growing to be had, but overall, I'm pretty content with where I am. I know, deep down, who I want to be, and that's all that matters to me. I just need to remember that, and not let the haterzzz get me down. You all need to remember that too.

Are you content with who you are, where you are in life? If not, only you can do something about it. Write down goals for personal life, emotional life, work life, and any other goal you want to achieve to get you to where you want to be... and then start taking those baby steps towards them.

Family, friends, significant others want to see the real you. I think we all see glimpses of our real selves, of other people, who they really are. I think we could all use time to show who we really are, to our loved ones, to ourselves, every once in a while. I think we all know a piece of what is hidden, and it really is a beautiful person.

For 5 minutes a day, just don't worry about what people think of you, of your goals, of your life. And just revel in the fact that you are you. You are wonderful. You are working on your life. You are working on being content. You are working on yourself. And you are worth it.

Anytime you (or myself) may feel down, I hope you find this comforting. And refreshing... and able to get you back on the bumpy road that is life. Life is a beautiful thing, go explore it with those you love.

... and if you haven't listened to that song, DO IT. Lots of piano, wonderful harmonies. Great song.

We could all use a little pick-me-up every once in a while.

I'm currently sitting in my lab, door closed (screw the fire hazard), and semi-blaring music while I'm doing a few hours of work. Maybe because it's Sunday, or it's been a busy last few weeks, or something... but for some reason I'm in the mood for reflection and questioning.

Or maybe it's the fact that I'm post-vacation, and I miss it? Perhaps. Italy Vernia Family Vacay was fantastic, and just what I needed: two weeks away from school, stress, responsibility. I could eat all the pasta I wanted, drink all the wine and cappuccinos my heart desired... and I did. It was beautiful weather in a beautiful place. Got to hike one day in Cinque Terre, and take in the architecture the rest of the vacation. Perfect two weeks away. Wish I could have stayed for longer and explored Florence longer, but such is life. We all have to come back to reality at some point.

But coming back wasn't all that bad either. Research is being semi-nice for once, and it may continue to be nice (but get a lot busier... not necessarily a bad thing). But now that I am off my vacation high, and it's back to the real world, being in lab also makes me introspective.

Call it boredom, call it "being in the dumps", call it sadness... actually, don't call it any of that. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's not just one emotion, and it's not really sadness. Things are changing around me, and I don't think I'm on the same pace that change is happening. That's why I think I'm slightly freaking out about it.

I start teaching next week, which gives me a lot more to do. Picking back up CGSA duties, teaching, getting back into full-time researching, trying to workout and stay healthy, have social time... it feels like it's the school year again. Though there aren't as many students, which is always a nice break during the summer. But this summer is going to fly by... which is the the scariest thing to think about.

The fall brings the beginning of the 3rd year of my PhD program, which leads to the candidacy talk... the dreaded 3rd year talk... the make or break talk. While I'm not as stressed as I should be about it, it's hard not to think about the impending doom that comes with it. Every conversation at school mentions research, or how the talk is going to be terrible, etc. etc.

So with that, and a feeling of slight loneliness, it gives me weird feelings. Like I need a pick-me-up or something. I had pizza (nom nom) this weekend, and had a wonderful Friday with friends. But the thing that has always gotten me back into a groove is music. One of my favorite people who can put a smile on my face and joy in my heart is Andrew McMahon. Never heard of him? Don't worry, you have now.

Pianist and lead vocals for Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin, he is now doing a solo act. So: if you need some music to check out, albums include:
Leaving Through the Window and North - Something Corporate
Everything in Transit, The Glass Passenger, and People and Things (as well as Dear Jack EP) - Jack's Mannequin
The Pop Underground - Andrew McMahon

Just something about the piano gets me in a good mood every time. It brings me back to a simpler time when I use to take piano lessons, and the worst thing that could happen was actually having to practice. But whenever I listen to his music (especially Everything in Transit straight through), it's like I took a Vitamin D pill, and I'm drinking homemade strawberry lemonade, porch sitting on my porch swing and flowers are blooming around me.

I know we all have that one thing that just brightens our day. Mine happens to be Andrew McMahon. What's yours?

I think between my dear friend Andrew, exercising this week, NKOTB/98 Degrees/Boyz II Men, and getting back in my routine, I'll be back into my sunshiney world... while I sit in my darkened wet lab. :)

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and are staying cool. It's getting hot out there, and we need to keep hydrated. Have a great summer (to those that get something like it).

Wait, what do you mean I only have 20 followers on Twitter?

To follow up with the last blog post of "15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy", there's an article I found (again on facebook, get off it) that I enjoyed going through. It's a little bit shorter, a little bit more sarcastic, but still very very true. 32 Thoughts You Should Stop Caring About

In this "article", they talk about things that we really shouldn't care about (such as #4, what the people you don't like are posting on their Facebook statuses, or #8, the opinions of people who a) will never like you and b) have absolutely no bearing on your life) to things that are a little bit more fun to joke about (#21, how many followers you have on Twitter, or #25, eating salads on dates (can I get a burger wrapped in bacon, please?)), yet we still care about them.

Why is it that we do care about these things? Yes, some are worries that we have because of low self-worth/self-esteem, or trying to figure out what our path in life is really supposed to be (have we found it yet, are we even going in the right direction, wait, how old am I?). We all have worries, but most of them we really shouldn't worry about.

This complied list really brings forward what kind of things we wonder and think about, and ultimately worry about. The funny thing is, most of these things really shouldn't matter. It makes me remember to take a step back, breathe, and really think about what is important in our lives.

Is it what Kim Khardashian and Kanye West are doing every second? (yes, duh.) Is it what people might think of the dress you are wearing when going out to a bar with your friends for a girls night? (obviously, where have you been?) Is it being the only single one in your group of friends? (OH GOD KILL ME BEFORE THAT HAPPENS)

No, it's the things that we perceive to be a huge deal, when in the grand scheme of life, they aren't at all. We forget that these little things (while we need to treasure the good ones) can ultimately cause so much more stress in our life than we need.

There are going to be people that don't like you. You can't change that, as much as you would like to. There are going to be people who are thinner, better dressed, better spoken than you, but that's just how genetics works. You can only do the best with what you are given, and the sooner you learn to love it, the happier you will be.

And this isn't just about immediate happiness, it's more about overall and longlasting contentness. (Is that a word? It is now...) Once we stop caring about the little things that don't really impact our lives at all, we can actually start being happy (and worrying about the things that do impact our lives, like disease, poverty, etc.)

Does this mean that we're not going to worry about these little things? OF COURSE NOT. I know for a fact that I still worry about the little things A LOT. But, if we can just all take a breath once in a while, and forget about it for a bit, I think it could help us all out immensely.

Have a wonderful day, and weekend, people. I'm about to go on vacation for two weeks to gorge myself with fine Italian pasta, cappuccino and wine, so sorry if I go off the grid for a bit. Holla, and maybe just stop sweating the small stuff, yeah? :)

and I hope you find it, you just want to take a faster ride, lower lows, higher highs.

There's an article I found online that I really enjoyed reading: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy. I know I'm always trying to endorse positive thinking and happiness, and as I was going through this article, a lot of things rang true.

Things that I have done to try to be happy since I've gained this attitude after travelling to New Zealand:

1. Give up your need to always be right. It's hard, because I like to think I'm right a lot, especially when I know a lot about certain subjects. However, I've found that there are other people like that as well. And while it's nice to be right, that good feeling goes away in about 0.4 seconds. So what's the point of always needing to be right? Just go with it.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Yes, there will be instances where you need to try to impress other people (for example, a job interview). However, and this is obviously still a work in progress, I've definitely tried to be comfortable in my own skin, and just be myself. If people aren't impressed with that, then obviously they didn't need to be in my life. The friends and family I have are so great and have always been so encouraging in whatever I've wanted to do... those are the only people I need in my life.

Things that I need to do/continue to do better to do these to be happy:

2. Give up your need for control. This is always so hard for me to do. I am definitely my mother's daughter, and her nickname is Captain-Commander. Not by coincidence, but because she wants to have control over every aspect in her life. I am very similar, but since getting to grad school, I'm slowly loosing the reins on that. Things are going to work, or they are not, and most of the time you can't control that. The only thing you get from trying to be in control is stress. Everything happens for a reason, but it's less stressful to let them happen, and then deal with what comes next.

6. Give up complaining. Too many times, I complain about the littlest of things. I guess we're all wishing for something better, that something better is out there, and want that. So we complain about the things we have now, even when they're great. I know I have to go back, reflect, regroup and remember to enjoy what I have in my life, since it definitely could be worse.

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Ultimately, you are in charge of your own destiny and happiness. The guide above definitely can help you if you're in a rut in how to be happy. Happiness happens from moment to moment, and sometimes you have to work at it. But it's just part of an amazing journey that is called your life.

Are there things that you need to work on from this list? Goodness knows I have a lot to still work on, but it can happen over time. It doesn't have to all fall into place right now.

Go enjoy this beautiful spring weather, people. Go to a baseball game, for a walk in the park, read a book on the porch with a good cup of coffee. Do what you enjoy with people you enjoy. That's a pretty easy way to be happy, I think.

Stay positive, and until next time.

A little bit of everything, I guess.

So much has happened the past few weeks, yet I never take time to put what I've felt from it into words. Tonight, with the thunder and lightning, and Justin Timberlake's Mirrors (It's better if you listen along too) playing in the background, I thought it'd the perfect way to clear my mind before bed. Yoga helps, but that was a few hours ago, and I'll take nature's open opportunity.

First off, I know that this may not be a big deal for some people, but the Louisville Cardinals won the 2013 National Championship. Honestly, words cannot express the joy I felt from that. This team this year had so many storylines, from Gorgui, Peyton, Russ, Kevin, Chane, Luke... there has never been a team that I've watched that I wanted them to win so badly. (Granted I felt terrible for Preston Knowles when he went out injured in 2011, but that's a different story) So having this team finish it out, especially after Kevin's injury, was so fantastic. I got to celebrate with my friends in Louisville, and with Cardinal fans all over the city. We've been waiting since 1986 to celebrate, and we were finally able to. Louisville First, Cardinals Forever.

Now: I know most everyone has heard of the explosions in Boston during the marathon. I was so appalled at the fact that it happened, and then I remembered that there were people there that I cared about, as one of my best friend's family lives up there. Luckily for her and us, everyone is okay. Her father is a firefighter, and was probably extremely busy. But it is people like him, like the policemen, and volunteers that stepped up and help control the situation, those are people that we sometimes forget to appreciate. I'm happy we have them, and I'm very happy that the people I know are also safe. Definitely thoughts are in Boston.

One thing I found online just about 20 minutes ago is this Dove YouTube video: Dove Beauty Sketches If you haven't seen it, I suggest you definitely do. We also forget our beauty, and tend to focus on negative aspects (like how I keep finding white hairs here and there lol). I don't want to spoil the video, but I definitely cried watching it. Just seeing how surprised people were... Just try to remember that you are a beautiful people, and you may just forget what other people see as your beauty. Make sure to revisit it, to help you be content.

I'm sorry this post has been a bit disjointed, but I feel like I've had a lot on my mind. Emotions are swirling, and I've probably cried more in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 2 months. Not from sadness, but just letting all emotions come out and not holding them in. It's been refreshing, to say the least.

I usually also hate rain, thunderstorms, bad weather... but there's something refreshing that comes with a good rainstorm. It's a fresh start... we could all use that from time to time.

I'll stop rambling. But maybe I can sleep a bit better tonight. Just remember, tomorrow is a new day, so go make it great.

I want to dance like the characters on Charlie Brown when I hear...

... the song "Kiss You" by One Direction! Yes, I know. Getting back into my boy band days, even though they are this generation's N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, KNOTB, 98 Degrees, DreamStreet, etc. (So we maybe had too many boy bands when I was growing up! ... NAH) I guess I'm just gearing up for NKOTB, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men concert this summer! Time to bring out the scrunchies, roll-on glitter, and old school band t-shirts! But if you haven't listened to this song yet, do so. You'll know what I'm talking about in the title.

One Direction - Kiss You

Anyway, I promise I won't mention too much about March Madness, since a lot of people's teams aren't in the tournament, and I refuse to jinx the CARDS. But I'm loving all the basketball games on! It's been a little rough on getting back into the habit of working, but seeing as it's the end of spring break, I can work tomorrow!

I don't really have that much to say, I guess. It's been hard to be motivated to do much work the past couple of weeks, being sick and then having spring break. But I've been doing alright with it, and I'm ready to get back to the grind! I'm going to make myself start running again a few days a week, since I miss it so much, and maybe the endorphins will help me get over this yucky weather we've been having. I'm so ready for spring!

Just remember that you are your biggest supporter and your biggest critic. You are the one that can make yourself happy or unhappy. We all need time to feel other emotions besides happiness, we can't be happy all the time. Maybe I like being content better than being happy. Almost the same thing right? But I'm okay with just being okay in the moment. I like the moment more and more I'm in it.

Also: I've decided that slowly but surely I want to be more spontaneous. I've been a super planner since my high school days, and while I will always be a planner, I want to be a bit more spontaneous from time to time. Any suggestions from you all? Obviously I'm not great at it. Lol.

Here's for warmer weather hopefully coming our way soon, and don't forget to smile! It takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile! :)