I want to dance like the characters on Charlie Brown when I hear...

... the song "Kiss You" by One Direction! Yes, I know. Getting back into my boy band days, even though they are this generation's N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, KNOTB, 98 Degrees, DreamStreet, etc. (So we maybe had too many boy bands when I was growing up! ... NAH) I guess I'm just gearing up for NKOTB, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men concert this summer! Time to bring out the scrunchies, roll-on glitter, and old school band t-shirts! But if you haven't listened to this song yet, do so. You'll know what I'm talking about in the title.

One Direction - Kiss You

Anyway, I promise I won't mention too much about March Madness, since a lot of people's teams aren't in the tournament, and I refuse to jinx the CARDS. But I'm loving all the basketball games on! It's been a little rough on getting back into the habit of working, but seeing as it's the end of spring break, I can work tomorrow!

I don't really have that much to say, I guess. It's been hard to be motivated to do much work the past couple of weeks, being sick and then having spring break. But I've been doing alright with it, and I'm ready to get back to the grind! I'm going to make myself start running again a few days a week, since I miss it so much, and maybe the endorphins will help me get over this yucky weather we've been having. I'm so ready for spring!

Just remember that you are your biggest supporter and your biggest critic. You are the one that can make yourself happy or unhappy. We all need time to feel other emotions besides happiness, we can't be happy all the time. Maybe I like being content better than being happy. Almost the same thing right? But I'm okay with just being okay in the moment. I like the moment more and more I'm in it.

Also: I've decided that slowly but surely I want to be more spontaneous. I've been a super planner since my high school days, and while I will always be a planner, I want to be a bit more spontaneous from time to time. Any suggestions from you all? Obviously I'm not great at it. Lol.

Here's for warmer weather hopefully coming our way soon, and don't forget to smile! It takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile! :)

Waiting for the rain to stop. Destination: Beautiful. Seems that I'm still waiting for the Sun.

This past weekend, I made the trek down to Nashville, TN to see one of my favorite bands play. (And I got the opportunity to see some grade school and high school friends, so even better!) Mae was having a reunion show after doing two in Virginia Beach, and they were celebrating the 10 year anniversary of their first album, Destination: Beautiful. Hearing it live straight through was so amazing. They also played a few more songs for an encore. The last time I had seen them, they were on their Goodbye: Goodnight tour, promoting their last album (e)vening. So when I heard about this recent show, there was no way I was going to miss it. It didn't disappoint. There's something about being in the moment, hearing songs live that you lived your life through. Something just so special about being with other people that have done the same, whether you know them or not. Nothing that makes us differnt matters. Everyone is there for the same reason: to remember the emotions you feel when you hear these songs, to enjoy the music, to enjoy the moment.

Mae always was a band to listen to whenever I wanted to relax. I do yoga to it, I listen to it before bed, when I wake up and walk to school: it's some of the most soothing and relaxing music I have.

One thing I've learned from their music: live in the moment. For me, that's one of the hardest things to do. I know I'm always looking forward to the next thing, the next big event, the next reaction I have to run, the next weekend plans, the next person I meet. It's hard not to look at the future for me, since I've grown so accustomed to planning everything out in advance. I've recently adapted to only planning what I need to plan, and not much more. Call it sponataneity; I'll consider it causing less stress for myself.

I'm trying to appreciate the here and now more. I may not be living every day to the fullest, but I'm trying to be happy with what I have done, what I have accomplished with each day. Whether it's being in lab a full day, or going to see my favorite band; whether it's taking a walk in the park, or going out with friends: it's about just enjoying the moment. Each one is different, and unique, and too often we're always looking for the most exciting, the most enjoyable. What's to say that this moment right now isn't enjoyable? And if it's not, how can you change that?

Too often, I'm waiting for the next big thing to come up. Why not just make the next big thing right now?

Only thing that stops you from that is yourself. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to our self-happiness.

What can you do to live and enjoy each moment? What helps you to enjoy your life? What's something that you've done for yourself lately?

Remember that while you're waiting for the sun to enjoy the rain. It's beautiful wherever your destination.

Do what makes you happy. Remember what makes you happy.

First things first: Beyonce for president. Seriously. She is an amazing human being, and anyone who can't see it... better get your vision checked out. Been on a Beyonce kick since the Super Bowl halftime show. AWESOME.

Now. Moving on.

A friend had this quote on her facebook today:

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a mood, it is not permanent. It comes and goes and if people thought that way, maybe more people would find happiness more often."

Like so many others, I'm always looking for happiness. Overall, I think I'm happy, there are days where I'm not. But I do agree with this quote, where there isn't a spot called "happiness", and once I get through certain events, then I will reach happiness. You decide whether or not you're happy. People, food, groups, events, these things can help make you happy. But ultimately, you are the only person that controls your happiness. The second you let someone else be in charge of your happiness, you're not happy.

That's something I've been trying to achieve recently, as I had so much stress from my 2nd year talk, chemistry in general, and relationships with people changing. I wasn't depressed or anything, but I didn't feel happy. I felt indifferent.

So, I decided to get back to things that make me happy. One of the those things is soccer. Whether it's playing or watching (more watching now than playing), soccer has always made me happy. Recently, the US men's national team has played in an international friendly against Canada, and a World Cup Qualifier against Honduras. Even though the results of these games were not what I wanted, watching the games with a group of soccer fans just as crazy as I am was so great. I'm talking about the American Outlaws, the USMNT supporters. There are chapters in many cities across the US, and they definitely have love for America and the Yanks. Check them out if you love soccer, and want somewhere to watch games with crazies: http://www.theamericanoutlaws.com/ The guys (and few gals) that meet down at Molly Malone's in Covington, KY are so awesome, so come join us sometime!

Another thing that has made me happy is yoga. Leslie, the yoga instructor on Tuesdays at the Rec Center here at UC, must be a hypnotist or something, because she's INSANE at what she does. And I mean insane in the best way possible. I never thought it would be possible to turn off my brain for 45 minutes, and then be somewhat peaceful for the rest of the night. But, oh, it is possible, and it's more than wonderful. I also go on Wednesdays, and sometimes on Friday (but it's late sometimes). If you have never tried yoga before, and just want something calming yet good for your body, I highly recommend it. It doesn't matter if you're the most flexible person or not, but it's been such a good addition this semester.

I'm also just taking time for myself, and not worrying about trying to make things happen as much. I'm trying to hang out with friends, both old and new. But I'm definitely recharging myself for what is coming in the future. Life isn't always easy, but there's no reason it can't be fun and you can't be happy overall.

What are things that make you happy? If you're feeling down, think about the things that usually make you happy. Have you been partaking in those events, things, people, etc? If not, revisit those, and then look at how you feel after.

Just because today might be a bad day today, that doesn't mean that tomorrow won't be a wonderful day. Keep your head up loves, and just breathe and take life one day at a time.

Until next time. I'm going back to my Beyonce girl crush, and enjoying my Friday. :)

Do you remember the first time you listened to a song? The emotions that came with it?

I love getting new music to listen to. I listen to the radio for new hits, and find some old favorites. Some from when I was growing up and listening to 90s music, some from my parent's generation. Music always brings out so many emotions for me.

When I'm in a happy mood, or I want to dance and move and workout, I usually listen to recent songs from college time-now. Rap, hip-hop, pop, rock... you name it, I listen to it. When I'm a bit down, I like to listen to soothing music, sometimes classical; anything with a piano and stringed instruments, I'm game for. When I do yoga, I again put some soothing music on, but a little more upbeat, with some good drums in it.

When I just need to think, and I need some music to just have in the background, there are a few artists and albums that are my go-to music choice. Any album by Mae (though I usually skip Singularity), Everything in Transit by Jack's Mannequin, Leaving Through the Window and North by Something Corporate, Never Take Friendship Personal by Anberlin, Chroma by Cartel, Dog Problems and Interventions and Lullabies by The Format, and Science and Faith by The Script, to name a few (okay, a lot). Most of these (minus The Script, and the (M)orning, (A)fternoon and (E)vening albums from Mae) are from around 2006 (either before or just after)... which means most of these came out when I was in high school or just starting college. Crazy to think about, right?

But I can listen to these albums over and over again. I remember what I first felt when listening to these songs. I remember going to concerts and hearing them live, and remember loving every song, every note, all the people around me, singing the same words that were coming out of my mouth. Listening to them over and over, remembering the happiness, sometimes the sadness that accompanied a listen... you think back about what was going on then. What your biggest fears were, who your best friends were, what you were doing at that point in your life.

It's funny how these songs, that had special meaning to you in the past, these songs can have a special meaning to you now. Maybe it's just the same feeling reiterated, maybe it's a new feeling. Who you are, what you're doing, etc... all that can change in a second. But these songs don't change; they stay the same. They represent a moment in time that you can control.

That's one of the hardest things to comprehend: not being able to control things. It scares me, I know that. I thrive in trying to be in control. But most things I cannot control: I can't control what I'm working on, whether it's supposed to work like a protocol says or how it's supposed to work theoretically. I can't control my relationships with people; things will happen, and I just have to learn to adapt and change around them. I can't control the weather, as much as I would like to (sunny, 80 degrees all day, everyday). Sometimes, I can't control my emotions. There are so many things I know I cannot be in control of.

But I can be in control what I felt when I first listened to a song. And just that little bit of control is all that we should need. (Or that's what I tell myself. lol)

Think of a song, an album, an artist that you can listen to over and over again. Think of how you felt when you first heard it. What emotions come to mind? What events were going on?

For me, music helps reflect my mood, it helps me think. Is there something that does that for you? Whatever it is, don't lose it; perhaps it can keep you somewhat sane in an otherwise crazy world.

Go put on your favorite song or album, and just let yourself go in the music. I think you'll be glad you did. Be in control for a moment in time. Or a few, if it's on repeat. Lose yourself, and then bring yourself back, hopefully re-energized and ready to take what life throws at you.

I'm going back to listening to my music. Until next time. Remember to try to stay positive, life is a much more beautiful place that way.

Love will find a way to bloom.

Hello lovely people. It's been a while. I haven't been in the best of moods for the past month or so. So busy trying to get results that just won't happen, trying to finish up the hardest semester I've ever had; trying to make time for my family and friends this holiday season; trying to not let little things get me down.

We can't all be happy all the time. That is as good of a lesson as any, I think. It's opposite of one of my most influential lessons I've learned throughout my high school and college years: only you can make yourself happy. Other people can help continue your happiness, but overall, you are in charge of your own happiness.

But even the happiest of people gets down sometimes. It's natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Sometimes when I get stressed, I tend to shove every piece of food towards my face. That's been my crutch for a while, but it's not the healthiest thing to do. Pizza diets, while delicious, are not great for you.

So, since it is the time of a new year starting, people are going to start making New Year resolutions. I'm not big into that, because I rarely keep them. However, I want a new way to deal with my sadness/stress/frustration.

I've tried yoga before, and it worked somewhat while I continuously practiced it. But then, life got in the way (Correction: science got in the way, like it always does), and I stopped. I found some classes at the recerational center on campus that I'm planning to do. It's not good when just being in the city you live in makes you stressed.

Below is one of my favorite bands, and I used a lot of their songs for yoga music and relaxation.

Mae - A Quiet (E)vening/Bloom

It could be about someone you love. It could be about your faith. Something that you're going through. But by still hoping, still dreaming, the finish line you want to reach is close. Stress is a part of life, but it does pass.

(I need to take my own advice more often than not. lol)

What do you do to relive yourself of stress? Massage, for stress you inflict on your body? Meditation, to soothe the mind? A warm bath? Listening to soft, comforting music?

Just remember to destress every once in a while. Maybe I will too, one of these days. Until then, it's time to break out the yoga mat. And Mae. And occasionally order some pizza and drink some wine. And eat chocolate. And my favorite thing: remember to breathe.

Until next time, loves. Have a wonderful new years, spending time with those that you love and cherish. I know I'm excited to spend it with some of the best people I know. Obviously can't have everyone I want around, but that's just life.

Remember to breathe. :) Try to stay positive. Things always turn out the way they are supposed to, and it's usually for the better.

"You're always so optimistic."

Happy Finals time everyone! Everyone will be fine, we've gone through these a bajillion times, so I'm just sending you positive thoughts your way... Good luck to all!

Also thinking of a special friend of mine, who I know is going to rock out tomorrow on her big test. :)

I was getting brunch with another friend yesterday, and we were just talking about things that were going on. She commented, "You're always so optimistic." Kind of a "duh" moment, but it's always nice to hear it nonetheless.

I say it's a "duh" moment because I know I'm optimistic, sometimes even overly optimistic. That's just how I've been for probably 6+ years now. It was a decision of mine to try not to dwell on things that happen, whether they're good or bad. You just have to be ready for the next thing that comes your way.

I'm not saying to not enjoy what you have. But realistically, whatever you think you have could be taken from you in a single second. What to take away from it: be grateful for all the good you have. However, when something bad comes along, try not to put so much energy into that. Don't get drawn in by pessimistic thinking. It's too easy to have every part of your life be negative, and it's a lot harder to try to get back to optimism.

As a chemist (or general scientist), one thing you learn quickly is that though reactions, etc. are supposed to work in a specific theoretical way, real world application is not always the same, and most of the time, things don't work the way you want them to. So, do I know how easy it is to be pessimistic in a world that rarely works the way it should? You bet I do. However, in my field, every positive result brings such joy and optimism, you want to search for those positive results.

So: in my case, definitely, why not just be optimistic as much as possible? It's so much more rewarding than to be pessimistic, and have things go wrong time and time again. Things are going to go wrong, it's important in how you deal with these hard times. When the good times come around, they're much more enjoyable if you can be generally optimistic.

So: if you are wanting to be optimistic, but don't know where to start... here are a few tips that work for me.

1) Enjoy what you're doing, whatever it is. I hate doing chores, like cleaning. However, the end result makes me feel good, because things look so much better and I feel more peaceful having a clean bathroom, clean dishes, a organized desk. Less disorder for me makes me happy. Same thing goes for something you're having fun with, whether it's getting together with friends, working out or fixing your favorite meal. Enjoy what you're doing, and the company you have. When things get tough, you can remember those times, and look forward to having that feeling again.

2) Take breaks when working. Too many times, we want to just work on something straight through to get it done. What I've found is that if I don't take a 15 min break here and there, I end up procrastinating a lot more than I would have with some time off.

3) Listen to music that makes you happy. Regardless if it's classical, hip-hop, dubstep or bluegrass, music can effect your emotions very easily. Listen to things that make you happy, or excited, or motivated. Whatever you want to feel, play music to make yourself feel that way. If you have to force yourself to listen to it, soon you'll want to listen to it, and you'll be glad you did.

4) If you're not happy, pretend you are. I know that sounds a little silly. Why are you pretending to be happy and optimistic if you're not? By pretending to be happy, a lot of times (for me, at least) I then become happy. It's a gradual change, but it's a genuine change. You start to actually feel happy and you don't have to  pretend anymore. It's funny, but it's true.

I'm not saying I don't get negative. We all get stressed, and it's all too easy to get into a negative mindset. But sometimes, we just need to regroup, and get past what's making us negative. Take a "me" day, figure out what's really bothering, and then make a plan on how to fix it. Some problems are easy to fix, some take a lot longer... but take sometime to yourself. I know I forget that I need to work on myself sometimes, and not just work on other things.

So, in an optimistic ending, go enjoy the winter season everyone! (Although it certainly doesn't feel like winter! 53 degrees today) It's the most wonderful time of the year, after all. :)

Be thankful for those around you.

November is one of my favorite months, solely because of that awesome holiday called THANKSGIVING. If you know me at all, i LOVE thanksgiving more than most things in the world. seriously. 

But that's for another blog post.

Only reason I bring up my favorite holiday comes from an idea I've seen some people do: for the whole month of November, say what you are thankful for. I think this is a great idea (though we should be thankful everyday, but again, that's for some rant that I don't have time/energy for right now). I think we all forget what we are thankful for, so instead of reflecting for one day, do it daily. Maybe even continue it on past the month of November.

Some things I'm thankful for (off the top of my head, in no particular order):

• My friends. I seriously have the best friends, and I will TOTALLY brag on them all day, e'ry day.
• My family. They have always been so supportive of me in my endeavors, and we always have a ton of fun at dinners, vacations, etc. Sometimes we argue, but that's family for you.
• Totino's, in general. Those party pizzas and pizza rolls are AMAZING and brighten my day every time I eat them.
• COFFEE. I'm not sure I'd be able to get through grad school without it. (Who would have thought?)
• My cats at home. I'm a crazy cat lady (this shouldn't surprise you), and they make me soooo happy everytime I get to see them. And then I take plenty of pictures of them. I'm not too crazy, I promise.
• The gifts given to me. No, I'm not talking about ACTUAL gifts... though I like getting gifts (hint, hint). You know what I mean. I've only gone so far because of what I've received.

I know there are plenty more things that I'm thankful for, but do you really want to read about that? Probably not. And the two most important ones are at the top, and everything else is a little silly (but completely necessary to my well beling).

But regardless if you're surrounded by the people you love, random people you don't know, or acquaintances, be thankful for who is around you. And be thankful for the new people you've met recently. I know a year and a half isn't exactly a "recent time period", but I am so thankful to have met some awesome people, from school and outside of it. I'm going to be in Cincinnati for (hopefully) another 3.5 years, so I have a feeling that the people I've met "recently" are going to have a pretty big impact on my life until I leave here.

Be thankful, and show how thankful you are. You may think you don't have as much to be thankful for, but it's not really if you have more or less to be thankful about, it's about having things to be thankful for.

Have a great month, and don't worry, you'll be hearing from me about Thanksgiving soon enough. (Again.)